Biggest Loser
Biggest Loser

Episode Report Card
Potes: A- | 851 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Ladies First (and Second, and Third)

Happily, we get to move on to some other contestants. There's Moses! He is wearing a yellow bow tie and also looks like he might have put on a pound or two since we last saw him. And then there's Kaylee! She looks adorable. And hey, it's Ken! And Austin! They look great. Sami asks Moses what his secret was for losing so much weight even with an injury. He thanks Cara for finding a way for him to keep losing weight instead of giving up. Ken is apparently a pastor, and Sami asks him what it meant to have his congregation support him. Ken says that it changed his life, and that he's been able to overcome his past and his fears. He's ready to be the leader that they've always needed him to be.

After the contestants change, it's time for them to weigh in. Moses and Kaylee are Tongan, in case you've forgotten, and were very sweet with each other. Moses goes from 440 pounds to 287, for a loss of 153 pounds, or 34.77%. Okay, and not like I'm the fucking weight loss police or anything, but this dude has totally gained fifteen pounds since we last saw him. It actually kind of offends me when people don't have the decency to wait until after the finale to put all their weight back on. Kaylee is next, and goes from 233 pounds to 179, for a loss of 54 pounds. She's also put on almost fifteen pounds. It also offends me that nobody is addressing the fact that like half of the people we've seen so far have gained weight since going off the show.

Ken and Austin's montage involves Ken facing his fears and jumping off of a building in New Zealand. He's got a little bit of a Ned Flanders edge to him, doesn't he? In any case, Ken goes from 377 to 219, for a loss of 158 pounds or 41.91%, which is just shy of what he needs to pull ahead of Dan. Kudos to him for actually continuing to lose weight after leaving the show! At this point you wouldn't think this would deserve special commendation, but there you go. Austin is next on the scale, and needs to have lost more than 171 pounds to take the lead from Dan. He goes from 396 pounds to 222, for a loss of 174 pounds! Go, Austin! That's 43.94%, and Dan has been dethroned. Austin is as surprised as anyone about this, and quite happy to boot.

With that, we get more contestants! First is Sarah, who I don't even remember but who looks a lot like Kristin Chenoweth, and her mom, Deni. Oh! Dumb Deni! She never should have told us about that. Anyway, both of them look great. Oh boy, and then there's Arthur. Seriously, he's still huge. Who didn't see that coming? Jesse, on the other hand, looks miraculously fly. He's wearing a very sharp suit with a hot pink shirt, because that's how good he feels. Sami points out that Deni is unrecognizable. She says that all of the contestants are the biggest winners. In Arthur's case, literally the biggest. Of course we haven't seen Rulon yet. Sami notes that Arthur started out as the unhealthiest player, and has changed his life. Really? There is no visual evidence to support this claim. This show is such a fucking scam. I mean, granted, Arthur no longer weighs 700 pounds, but he is still very big. He says he's reborn now. Jesse dances around some, and acts like everything is fine. Sarah is stacked and has a total hourglass figure and extensions, and by virtue of that is not allowed to say anything.

Biggest Loser

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP