Biggest Loser

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Carla Will Cut You

We see the contestants alone with the food, and Damien tells us that he has a meat tooth rather than a sweet tooth. He's my kind of guy. He waits for a chicken nugget to speak to him and tell him what to do. Mandi eats a piece of pizza. But it's all for her children, of course. Filipe sniffs a taco. That is not a double entendre. Joelle fills up her plate like she's at her freaking family reunion. Like Mandi, Blaine misses his kids and is potentially ready to use them as an excuse for chowing on some pizza. Kids are the best excuses for getting you out of work and/or allowing you to eat all the fatty foods you crave.

Sami is ready to tell everyone who chowed during their private time. Mandi ate one slice of pizza, which is 380 calories. We then go to the video, where we learn that Aubrey was craving tacos, as you do, but then remembered why they were there and ate nothing. Well, in all fairness Aubrey can get a taco any time she wants without cameras following her around. In any case, Mandi starts crying. At first I thought it was because she felt bad about herself for eating the pizza, but really it seems that she was hoping that Aubrey would gorge herself so that she could go home and see her kids. Sami then announces that Filipe, despite his taco-sniffing ways, ate nothing. Sione, meanwhile, ate two pieces of pizza and a taco! He says it's because he needs the workout at home with Filipe and Bob. He took in 960 calories, and so the Blue Team is in the lead. Kristin ate nothing, and neither did Cathy. They enjoy a moral victory. Damien ate nothing, and doubts that Nicole chowed either. He gives a little squeal when Nicole shows up on the screen, and then a big whoop when he learns that she ate nothing. She kisses the camera lens and he squeals afresh. Those two love each other so much! And I actually find it sweet and not nauseating. I guess I'm getting soft.

Helen also ate nothing. We see Shannon on the screen and she starts crying. It's mysterious why she's so emotional, as she ate nothing for the challenge. She was probably full from eating a bag of flour earlier in the day. Helen is proud. Tara, being the champ that she is, ate nothing. She hopes that Laura also ate nothing, and adds that if Laura DID chow, she'll kick her ass. Sadly, the ass kicking won't be necessary, since Laura resisted all temptation. The Black and Brown Teams ate no calories, so are also out of the running. The Blue Team, Filipe and Sione, are still in the lead. There is only the Silver Team, Joelle and Carla, to go. And then, shocker! Sami announces that Joelle was tempted -- and even went so far as to stick a donut in her mouth -- but in the end actually ate nothing. She even picked a donut sprinkle off of her tongue and put it back on the plate. Crazy! It's then time to learn if Carla out-chowed Sione. AND HOLY CROW! Carla whips out a plate with three slices of pizza, five chicken nuggets, one taco and two cupcakes! Let's allow Joelle to narrate: "Carla ate. And Carla ate well." She relishes each fingerful of frosting, to the tortured dismay of everyone watching. Seriously, that second cupcake was totally for show. Carla says that she's doing it for the two of them, because she needs to see Joelle. They are totally the Oprah and Gayle of season 7. Joelle is the Gayle.

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Biggest Loser

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