Biggest Loser
Episode 4

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Half Baked

Olivia and Hannah are next, and they decide to hold hands to show their unity and prevent any sudden grabs. These sisters get along much better than Kyle and Kim Richards from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. If anyone knows what the heck, "You stole my house!" means, please email me immediately at potesypotes@gmail.com. The mystery will not stop plaguing me! Hannah notes that the monkey bread doesn't look like their mom's. Olivia agrees, and says that nobody's going to send them to Unknown Camp anyway. I wonder why she thinks that. Hannah eyes the chocolate cake, and Olivia asks if any of this stuff looks as good as a hot guy. I mean, the supreme pizza, maybe. Hannah and Olivia eat nothing. Don and Irene are next, and we discover that Don maybe has a touch of the OCD, evidenced by his counting of all the food items in the room. Irene tells us that not so long ago she enjoyed a good bacon cheeseburger from the corner bar, which went well with beer and whiskey. God, this challenge is making me hungry. Irene and Don happily eat nothing.

And then it's time for Arthur and Jesse to have a go of it. Arthur's eyes meet his beloved supreme pizzas, and things get so hot that we have to hit a commercial break. When we return, Arthur says that he literally could eat pizza every day for the rest of his life. I just pictured the cover of a romance novel featuring Arthur (shirtless and wearing swashbuckling pants) passionately caressing an extra large Pizza Hut special, a punny title such as, "A Love Supreme," splayed just below them. And can I just tell you that I Googled "romance novel covers" for inspiration, and there is a series of Nascar-inspired Harlequin romances. What is this world coming to? I take this as evidence that we should all be really scared of Palin 2012. But back to the actual show. Jesse is determined not to eat anything, and tells Arthur that who cares if they go to Unknown Camp? They're just going to exercise, like they do on the ranch. Arthur struggles, and then with 30 seconds left decides that he's going to control his own destiny and eats a piece of fried chicken. That's 150 calories. A low-calorie snack was apparently part of his strategy. I'm also guessing he wanted some chicken.

Everyone gathers back together, and Sami tells them that they might have guessed that no one ate. Arthur cracks up, and they all know that he chowed. Arthur explains to us that he doesn't want to leave the place where he's comfortable and go box with strangers. He ate the most, and so gets to choose who will head to the land of The Unknowns. That team will not have immunity, and will have to weigh-in at the end of the week. Arthur's thinking is that they have to send the strongest team over there, which is the Green Team. Jen and Jay are pissed. Arthur, however, says that he has no doubt that they can go with The Unknowns, work hard, and put a great number up on the scale.

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Biggest Loser

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