Biggest Loser

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Ranch Sweet Ranch

We enter the episode with VERY DRAMATIC CAPTIONING. There is a black screen with white text at the bottom that says, "At elimination, Jillian's team promised they would vote for Joelle." We then get another black screen with white text at the bottom that simply says, "...they didn't." I expect the Law & Order "Chung chung!" at any moment. Instead we enter the house post-elimination and things are, you know, a little tense. Bob's team thinks that Jillian's team is a bunch of punks who voted to oust Damien because they know Joelle is weaker. Jillian's team admits that they are a bunch of punks who voted to oust Damien because they know Joelle is weaker. Well, that's cleared up, then. Kristin points out that this situation has had the bonus effect of letting Joelle know that everyone on her team wanted to get rid of her. But, of course, Joelle knew that already. Kristin picked a heck of a time to start worrying about other people's feelings.

Blaine (or Dane? It's impossible to tell the big, rhyming-named white guys apart) goes up to Filipe and apologizes, saying that he knows how much Damien meant to him in particular. Filipe wonders why Jillian's team would even ask them who they were going to vote for, then turn around and commence the backstabbing. He pounds the table and says he's ready to play the damn frickin' game. The rest of Bob's team is in passionate agreement. Damn frickin' game on!

The next day, Mandi tells us that Aubrey is at home in Boise. And the video evidence proves to us that she is! And she's working out. But she also has a whole mess of kids to take care of, so she might not be working out quite as much as is ideal. She can't even record a videotape without having to stop because her kids are screaming, so I, too, wonder how much time she'll actually be able to log on the elliptical. Tara imagines that, in downtown South Beach Miami, Laura is playing beach volleyball and taking spin classes and the like. Instead, Laura dances and bounces in a sparkly blue tank top. Laura thinks she is hot shit, man. Filipe thinks that Sione is working hard back in Phoenix. And he actually is! That's a refreshing change. Sione tells us that before being on the ranch, he said he didn't have enough time to work out, but that was a lie. Now he's taking the three to four hours he'd spend watching TV and hitting the gym. You know, people WOULD have more time to work out if The Biggest Loser didn't suck two whole hours out of their Tuesdays. Ahem. Dan has no idea what Dave is doing at home. Video proves that Dave is smoking and hitting the buffet. I think Dan probably did have the idea that that's what Dave was doing actually, but just didn't have the heart to say it.

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Biggest Loser

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