Biggest Loser

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It's Not Easy Being Green

Hour two! Calls. Sam calls home and his sister Tracey answers with a delighted scream. He loves his parents SO MUCH! Sam's mom is named "Joyce" in quotes. Is she in the witness protection program? John calls his wife "Stephanie." Also in quotes! She tells tales of their prematurely balding baby saying, "Dada." His son's name is "Nicholas." Why won't people use their real names? John tells us that his dad died when he was 15, and he's not going to leave his wife without a husband and his son without a father. That's good motivation. When John hangs up the phone, he weeps, even though he's relieved to learn that his family is okay. We then go to the Red Team. They're on the phone with their son "Wyatt," who may also be named "Boudreau." Yeah, I don't know either. Wyatt/Boudreau says that he's getting As and Bs in school. A liar just like his mom! Miggy talks to her fiancé "Gary," who has lost 20 pounds! He tells Miggy that she can kick some ass. Then there's Koli, who talks to his mom "Meleseini," and his organic-loving aunt "Natalie." Migdalia talks to her daughter "Alyia," who asks where she is. Oh, sad. Her husband "Nathaniel" gets on the phone, and Migdalia says she wants to come home. "Nathaniel" tells her to hang in there. Indeed, "Nathaniel" is going to Afghanistan. Oh, MAN. No wonder she's been in a funky mood. She may not get to see him before she leaves. Migdalia tells us that after talking to her husband she feels better, and thinks she can handle another week. We'll see about that.

There is a trip to Subway. You know what that's like. Bob reminds everyone that they can get double meat on their sub. Extra protein going into the last chance workout! And this week the last chance workout entails running to the top of a giant hill. Bob yells/motivates, then makes the contestants run back down when they've reached the top. When they reach the bottom of the hill again, Jillian is waiting. Certain death. Jillian makes everyone pass heavy rocks and haul each other around in wheelbarrows. If nothing else, she's innovative with the exercise equipment. Jillian says that normally she doesn't like the outdoors, but from time to time when it comes to torturing people, it serves her purpose. The fact that she hates the outdoors actually makes me love her even more. Jillian motivates Miggy and Migdalia with the two-pound disadvantage, then rides Sam like a bull. And she totally has butt crack sweat! As a sufferer of this particular affliction myself, this makes me love her even MORE! All my partners in butt sweat out there should give me a holler and we can discuss the nightmare of a bike ride on a hot day. Koli tries to roll Sam up a hill in a wheelbarrow, but it doesn't work out so well. A very glam Jillian (to cement my extreme love) tells us that sometimes she likes to give her trainees something that's nearly impossible to do. They'll fail, but ultimately realize that if you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough. Koli is sick of being told that he can't do things, and so totally gets Sam up the hill on the next try! And that is the last chance workout.

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Biggest Loser

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