Biggest Loser

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Return of the (Big) Mac

No one asked, but I shall tell you what I did today to make me feel proud. Okay, maybe it happened yesterday. But still! I passed a BBQ place outside of which was a marquee reading, "We like pig butts and we can not lie." And I didn't stop! Mere minutes later I passed by a nudist colony. And I did not stop! And then I checked into one of those quaint New England inns that can best be described as "Dirty Dancing meets The Shining." It was there I met this really cool pair of twins, and agreed to let Tony, the little boy who lives inside of my mouth, write this recap!

Okay, so remember how five weeks ago we saw contestants in seven cities competing to be on the show, and only two out of three made it? Well, a couple of those leftover folks were given second chances (Liz and Aaron), but hippy Corey, Anna who I don't remember, Beyonce backup singer Montina, Sandy who I don't remember, and Shanna who I don't remember except that I kind of remember her crying a lot and wait! She totally had cancer -- all those folks were ostensibly left to get fatter. But they weren't! They were sent home to lose weight on their own. And now they're back for a second chance. But only one will earn the right to stay on campus.

We cut to the contestants standing in the weigh-in room. Sami introduces the five second-chancers. The existing contestants that we hear from are not thrilled at this development. The five, however, seem happy to finally be on campus. They're going to have a weigh-in, and the player with the highest percentage of weight loss will be invited back in the game. Corey is up first, and we are reminded how he fainted near the finish line of the race to get on the show. Corey weighed 391 pounds when we first met him, and now he weighs 354 pounds. That's a loss of 37 pounds or 9.46%. Corey talks about how supportive his family has been, and tells us he may have a chance. Shanna, breast cancer survivor, is next. She goes from 242 pounds to 221, for a loss of 21 pounds or 8.68%. That's not enough to beat Corey, and Shanna is all broken up about it again, though she points out that she can't be TOO sad since she's still alive to tell the tale and raise her children.

Montina is next, and we're reminded about how poorly she did in her first challenge. She had her trainer work her on the stepper every day until she could do 500 steps in under 20 minutes. If only she had thought to do that before the challenge! Montina needs to lose more than 27 pounds to beat Corey. She goes from 287 to 270, for a loss of 17 pounds or 5.92%. That's not enough. Montina says that she promised she wouldn't cry, but this show does that to you. No doubt! She promises that when we see her again, she'll be sexy as hell. Frankly, she already is. Despite her overall positive attitude about the situation, she says that not getting to live on campus is disappointing.

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Biggest Loser

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