What have I done today to make me feel proud? Well, I've watched this video of Stevie Nicks about 40 times because: 1) it's awesome; 2) it effectively quells the PTSD flashbacks of tonedeaf Taylor Swift butchering "Rhiannon" and then having this fantastic 61-year old rock goddess sing harmony on such insipid lyrics as, "She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers." Stevie Nicks has a Rhode Island-sized hole in her septum. She wrote "Gold Dust Woman." She doesn't care about who's wearing short skirts and who's wearing t-shirts. Because she's wearing black chiffon capes and rocking the shit out of any room she's in and putting a curse on Lindsay Buckingham (which is why he always sounds so douchey in interviews). Seriously, whose idea was this? Has this person been fired yet? Stevie deserves better. Two days later and I can't shake the rage! Help me, Dr. Phillian!
Anyway, okay, moving on. So, last week Migdalia was eliminated in an episode with a LOT of tense moments. Miggy tells us that she thought she was going to be voted off, and indeed it was pretty close even though Migdalia wanted to leave. At the moment that Migdalia left, Miggy didn't feel so much like staying either. With tears in her eyes, she tells us that she couldn't bear not having Migdalia there. Finally, some emotion! Dr. Phillian emerges victorious. The hardest moment of all was when Miggy had to return to her empty room. She felt like she lost half of herself, and in fact sobbed in her bed. And then! At 2:51 a.m. there's a 911 call. Miggy is suffering from acute abdominal pain, and is shipped off to the hospital. Intriguing.
The next morning, all the contestants wake up. Boy, are there a lot of CPAP machines in that house. Sami greets everyone and tells them that Miggy is okay but undergoing some tests at the hospital. They convene outside, where Sami notes that they've been there for a month, and the time will eventually come when they'll have to leave campus, go home, and face the challenges that exist in the real world. Today, those challenges are coming to campus in the form of the previously exiled Yellow and Blue Teams! The other contestants are polite but a little nervous about what all this means. We flash back to the Yellow and Blue Teams failing on their initial stationary bike challenge and getting the boot, and then learning that their journey wasn't quite over. The team that has lost the highest percentage of weight at home will get to return to campus.
With that, the Yellow and Blue Teams are sent to the gym for their very own last chance workouts with Bob and Jillian. They were not expecting this. But it is a right of passage, and they need to feel the burn. Sunshine tells us that they worked out hard at home, but this is a completely different level of torture. O'Neal is surprised that he survived it. I am rooting for Sunshine and O'Neal here, if only because their names sound like a cheeseball '70s duo a la Captain and Tennille or Peaches and Herb. One can only hope they'll sing lite rock favorites while on the treadmill while Delilah narrates.