Biggest Loser

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USA! USA!

What have I done today to make me feel proud? Well, I lip-synched for my life. In my own kitchen. While making a grilled cheese sandwich. And listening to Cher. I burned those calories fiercely, girl.

Also, for the first time all season, we get a "Last week on The Biggest Loser." Not enough Jennie-O turkey filler this episode? Anyway, Sunshine and O'Neal came back, Michael won the challenge and got immunity, and John went home.

But they've been saving the biggest announcement for now. Sami tells the contestants, following John's adieu, that they're headed to the US Olympic Training Center in Colorado! For the next week they'll eat, sleep and train with some fancy American Olympic athletes. And boom! There they are in Colorado, in their black puffy jackets and team-colored knit hats. Some ecstatic statues chant "U.S.A.! U.S.A.!" which must have been terrifying in real life. Oh, and hey! The Olympics start on Friday. NBC might want you to know that.

Sami greets the contestants and lets them know that, starting this week, they'll be competing as individuals. Melissa tells us that "individuals" for the Red Team might mean something different than for everyone else. That's because they're husband and wife, and made a commitment to be on a team forever, until their inevitable divorce. Sami has more news: two people will be eliminated this week. The person with the lowest percentage of weight loss will fall below a red line and be eliminated automatically. Two more contestants will fall below the yellow line, and one will go home. Sunshine has PTSD flashbacks about the first episode where she and O'Neal went home sans elimination ceremony. She's preparing to work hard.

Sami then introduces one of America's most inspiring athletes and star of the U.S. Paralympic team -- Allison Jones. Allison does alpine skiing as well as road and track cycling. She's won two silver medals and a gold for skiing, and another silver for cycling in 2008. This year, she'll be going for the gold again in Vancouver. Allison was born with her disability. I don't know what that disability is. Ah, wait: she was born without a femur. Allison's mom had her do every sport possible as a kid, and stumbled on skiing. She skied on one foot! And the rest is history. Allison wanted a summer sport, and happened on cycling. And she is awesome at everything. Jillian is totally in love with her, which makes me jealous.

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Biggest Loser

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