Biggest Loser

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USA! USA!

This leaves Darrell and Cheryl below the yellow line. I was ruminating on the awesomeness of this rhyming bottom two and almost missed Sami announcing that there's another twist! There's no voting in the Olympics. Well, except for figure skating, kind of. And there's no voting tonight. Tonight Cheryl and Darrell will go head to head in an elimination challenge! The loser goes home. Each contestant has to balance a torch stem on his or her head. When it falls, their flame will go out. The first one whose flame goes out will be eliminated. What a weird-ass challenge. It looks uncomfortable too, as each has to stand in some kind of effed-up squat. Darrell's knees start burning, and we get a close-up on his sweatpanted crotch that I will never be able to erase from my brain. Thanks, Biggest Loser. The contestants are still going strong at three minutes, then four minutes, then five minutes, then six minutes. Riveting, I know. Andrea's heart breaks as she sees Darrell wincing in pain. Cheryl's torch is awfully crooked-looking. It's a fight to the death... that will be continued next week, bitches!

Before we leave, we get a little tag with Melissa. She had a remarkable experience on the show, and has zero regrets. She's most proud of her mega-workout with Bob, when he pushed her beyond what she thought was possible and she screamed like she was in childbirth. The Melissa who came to the ranch six weeks ago didn't believe in herself, but the Melissa who's leaving the ranch today knows there's nothing she can't do. The next time we see her, she'll be the Melissa Morgan that she's supposed to be. Well, that's ambiguous.

Melissa started at 233 pounds when she came to the ranch, and today she weighs 175 pounds. That's 58 pounds total. I'll give it to her that she looks good. Melissa says that she's basically a single mom now, and it's a challenge to implement her new lifestyle along with the kids, work, and general life challenges. She's really into kickboxing, and even has her kids do it. She wants to live a healthy life, and encourage her children to do so as well. Melissa's son, Wyatt, says that people ask him how he thinks his mom looks now. He tells them with enthusiasm, "She looks hot!" Uhhhhh. Well. Hm. Oedipal complex aside, Melissa hopes that elements of her story will resonate with America. She notes her struggle on the scale, and ensures us that it was all real. At the end of the day, though, she feels dang good about Melissa Morgan. It's so funny how she keeps telling us her last name, isn't it? Melissa hopes to complete a marathon and be at her goal weight of 145 pounds by the finale.

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Biggest Loser

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