Biggest Loser
Episode 7

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Black Attack
t. Lose blood, lose pounds. That strategy's bound to backfire. Even though he's on the supersized Blue Team, Koli thinks the whole situation is fucked. He says that he wants to be on the show, but doesn't want to be on Michael's team. Meanwhile, Stephanie wants to form an alliance with Ashley. They talk about who else might be in said alliance. Miggy says to Michael that their team has a lot of weight, and wants to lose a lot of weight. Michael replies that if you don't put up a good weight on his team then you're going, because you're no use to him. It's hard to take his wannabe Godfather threats seriously when he's drinking a cup of herbal tea. And what's he going to do, put a decapitated Jennie-O turkey head on someone's pillow? It's already ground!

Oh, hey! New product placement! Lara bars. I'm allergic to tree nuts, so I can never eat any of those delicious bars. It makes me very sad. Is it just me, or does Jillian maybe have hair extensions in her interviews? I'm not complaining -- she looks great. Mad eyeliner, too!

With that it's the first Blue versus Black challenge. Each team will have to lift their team-colored banner to the top of a building. A very tall building. And they'll be doing it from the roof. The team that wins today's challenge gets letters from home, which is exciting to everyone. O'Neal gets to pick which team he wants to be on, and chooses Blue to be with Sunshine. The Blue Team is thought to have a great advantage. Indeed, they have a whole bunch of strong guys pulling on a rope. The Black Team seems to be working well as a unit, though, and start to catch up to Blue. The grit! The determination! The grimacing in slow motion! But then, not so much. The Blue Team wins by at least six stories. The Black Team is bitter and sad.

The Blue Team open their letters and there is sobbing and happiness. Lance gets a photo album with pictures of his kids. Miggy learns that her fiancé has lost 30 pounds. Michael gets a photo of himself at his thinnest from his friend Francesca. Daris also hears from a friend, and is touched by all the supportive people cheering for him at home. O'Neal hears from his son, who sends a funny card. The Blue Team bonds in their happiness and invincibility.

And then, it's my least favorite time on the show: visits with Dr. H. We get to hear how the contestants' inner ages have changed. My cat, Nula, hates this part, too, and just jumped off the couch and coughed up a hairball to indicate her unhappiness. Ashley learns that her current real age is 49, rather than the 57 it was seven weeks ago. That's still not close to her actual age of 27, but things are looking up. Sam's previous real age was 51 (as opposed to his actual age of 23). Now his inner age is 46. Sam had to stop smoking and drinking. Smoking is bad for you, but I think drinking actually promotes health. This is something I need to believe, so don't email me to tell me different. Red wine! Antioxidants! Etc.

Then we're back in the gym for the last chance workout. Jillian tells us that she has to do everything possible because all the odds are stacked against her team. Maybe she's actually wearing a full-on wig in those interviews. Whatever it is, I want it. Bob doesn't want his team to be a victim of its own hubris, which has happened in seasons past. Jillian is playing every trick she has, including some judo maneuvers. If they lose, she wants them to do it knowing that they've given their all and the situation was just impossible. The Black Team sure is motivated, and are working hard and well.

Weigh-in! The team with the greatest percentage of weight lost will win the challenge. The losing team will have to vote off one of their own. The player on the losing team with the highest percentage of weight lost will be immune from elimination. O'Neal, who has immunity, is up first. He goes from 325 to 316 for a loss of 9. Nice work. That's 2.77%, and Sunshine is proud.

With O'Neal out of the way, the Blue Team is up first. If Michael loses more than 7 pounds tonight, he'll beat Rudy's record for most weight lost in seven weeks. Michael says he's so nervous he's going to pee himself. Jillian just shakes her head. You can practically see her brainwaves spelling out, "What a tool." Michael goes from 432 to 417 for a loss of 15 pounds. That's bad news for everyone who was hoping he'd fail. Sunshine is next, and goes from 239 to 232 for a loss of 7 pounds. She's pretty happy with that, and the Black Team gets increasingly nervous. Lance is up next, and really wants to break the 300 pound barrier. He goes from 305 to 300, for a loss of 5 pounds. A bit disappointing on multiple fronts. Miggy is next. She goes from 199 to 195 for a loss of 4. She has to be bleeped and blurred, and tells Sami that she feels furious about her number. Bob points out that she's set up for a great week next week, but Miggy thinks that she's failed her team. I don't know, that actually seems like a decent number for her. All that good energy that she got after her appendix was taken out has gone away, I think. Daris is next and goes from 274 to 267 for a loss of 7. He seems relatively happy, and says he's proud of every pound he loses. Koli is the final Blue Team member to weigh in. He goes from 326 to 316 for a loss of 10 pounds. That's pretty good. The Blue Team has lost 48 pounds total, or 2.7%.

This means that to win the weigh-in and be safe, the Black Team needs to have lost more than 39 pounds, or a bit more than 6 pounds a piece. Drea is up first. She goes from 255 to 250 for a loss of 5, and feels like she let her team down. She hopes the others can make up for it. Cheryl is next. She goes from 191 to 187 for a loss of 4. The Blue Team starts smirking. Grrr. Sherry is next, and goes from 177 to 171 for a loss of 6. She's pleased. Sami announces that the remaining three members need to have lost more than 24 pounds. Sam weighs in next, and seems like the team's best chance to drop some major numbers. He shows off his new manicure -- the result of being on a team stacked with ladies. Sam goes from 298 to 290 for a loss of 8. Well, things are probably not looking so great for the Black Team. Stephanie is next, and says she's only lost 8 pounds in a week during the very first week. She goes from 221 to 213 for a loss of 8! Good for her. Miggy sulks, because her misery has returned in spades. Everything comes down to Ashley, who needs to have lost more than 8 pounds. She goes from 311 to 301 for a loss of 10 pounds! Come on! Jillian is totally blown away and impressed by her team, and says that they won by pure heart. Ashley's a total hero, and the Black Team rejoices. The Black Team lost 41 pounds total, or 2.82%.

One of the Blue Team members faces elimination. But it's not Michael -- he lost the most weight on his team. O'Neal is going to be a Blue Team member after the next elimination, and fears that the place he might take is Sunshine's. The Blue Team has a little caucus, and Koli talks about how overconfidence was their downfall. He points out that Lance and Miggy had the lowest numbers of anyone. Miggy says that she works hard every week, and doesn't want to go home. Lance doesn't want to go home either. Koli wants to make the decision that is best for the team, and keep the people who will help them to win. Michael just says, "It shouldn't have been us." Well it is, you tool. Deal.

The Blue Team members head into the elimination room. The person with the most votes will be eliminated. Lance votes for Miggy. Daris votes for Miggy. Miggy votes for Lance. Michael votes for Lance, because he loves Miggy. He then starts to cry and repeats, "It shouldn't have been us." Worst. Sunshine votes for Miggy. Koli gives a speech about how he's not sure where Lance's head is, but he's really good at challenges. So, Koli voted for Miggy, too. She's gone. Miggy says that it's okay, because it's her time. She's going to take everything she's learned and put it into practice at home. Miggy tells us that she, the spice of the house, will be missed. She feels privileged to have gotten to have this experienc

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