Biggest Loser

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With that, the contestants head into the gym to find silver-covered trays all over the place. Sami's wearing her best nursing bra as she greets the contestants and says it's time for some temptations. And whoever wins this one will get the "biggest prize" this show has ever given out at a temptation. There are 100 covered trays. A high-calorie snack is under most of them, while some have "healthy" snacks like Dentyne Ice gum, which also comes with money that the contestants do not have to eat. And one tray has a "golden ticket" that Sami promises will be the "ultimate reward" of "total control in this game." The contestants all look like that's something they want, but clearly all it means is a weird six-pack of man-boobs, bleeding ulcers, and a bizarre sense of right and wrong. Sami then reveals what the golden ticket actually is: another pack of Dentyne Ice! Also, the only vote that will be cast at the elimination. Kristin and Laura immediately try to see who can drop their jaws the most.

Sami calls "go," and everyone stays still for a second before, sure enough, setting out for a tray. Laura picks a soda, while Tara gets a cupcake. Kristin gets a pretzel. Filipe gets a donut. Helen gets another cupcake, while Michael gets some chips. Of course, freaking Ron gets gum and $500. Everyone else picks more high-calorie stuff and Ron gets yet another pack of gum and $1000. Did his ulcer give him X-ray vision or something? Ron finally gets some calories on his third try, but he still lucked out with just a 100 calorie soda, as opposed to one of those 520 calorie cupcakes, which Tara has gotten two of thus far. Laura screams in happiness as she gets gum and $5,000. I'm happy for her, and that Ron didn't get the big prize. Helen gets a pretzel, and interviews that it's going to stick to her ass. The editors try to trick us by making a big deal out of Michael's next pick and him sensing that it's the golden ticket, but it's just another bag of chips.

With 50 trays chosen, the contestants are looking pretty sick. Sione has eaten 2105 calories, while Tara beats everyone once again with 2830 calories consumed. Meanwhile, Kristin thinks she's all smart because she's not picking trays anymore. But she did pick a few and ate plenty of calories already, so, whatever. She says she'd rather focus on not dropping below the yellow line and being at risk to go home than being the person who can choose who goes home. Tara gets another cupcake, and her new total is 3962 calories. Only a few trays remain, and what luck for the producers that the golden ticket tray would be one of the last ones picked. Helen says she got "carried away," while Filipe wins $500. And gum! And then, finally, the Golden Ticket is revealed. Who's the lucky winner? Laura! She's thrilled, and Helen celebrates with her as if her ass won't be going home if she falls below the yellow line with Laura or Tara. Tara, of course, is also ecstatic, but she'd better hope that she and Laura don't both fall below that line. Oh, but wait! Sami reveals that Laura will not be able to use her ticket if she falls below the yellow line herself. Kristin can barely hold her jealousy inside as she interviews that Laura might find that her prize is a curse, as power "can mess you up." In an interview, Laura cackles that she can vote out whoever she wants. Except not really, since she can only choose between two people who fall below the line and only if she doesn't fall herself.

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Biggest Loser

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