Last week: It was revealed that two people would be going home, which made the Black Team go the fuck crazy. Mother Marci said she was willing to sacrifice herself so that all the young people could stay, and then wound up being the only one of three elders who remained on the ranch after they threw the weigh-in. Deni fell below the red line and was automatically eliminated, while Jesse was ousted after a vote. The whole thing put me in a rage, proving that it is still possible for me to have feelings where this show is concerned. And here I thought the artificial sweetener in the copious pieces of Extra Sugar-Free Gum that I have consumed had physiologically deadened me inside.

After the dastardly elimination, the Red Team rejoins the Black Team so Sami can make one of her trademark dramatic announcements. The teams are even at seven apiece now, and have become like family... almost. But there's nothing that can replace the real thing... which the contestants will experience this week, because they're going home! Home! The place where pizza is always available and you can buy whipped cream at the gas station! Good luck, suckers. Everyone is very excited to see their loved ones. Austin tells us that his 21st birthday is in five days. He wonders if he has the balls to tell his friends that he can't stay up all night. He doesn't mention the cake and the legal drinking that may ensue. On that note, Sami warns everyone that they will be surrounded by temptations at home. As extra incentive to avoid them, Sami tells them that they'll be participating in a 5K when they return, similar to their first one on campus. After the initial elation, the contestants start to get a little nervous. Olivia wonders if her friends will be on board to support her changed self, Moses knows that temptations will await him, and Justin just wants to bang his wife.

We head to Salt Lake City with Sarah; then Portland, Oregon with Arthur; Logan, Utah with Justin and Rulon; Pasadena with Ken and Austin; Long Branch, New Jersey with Jay and Jen; Nashville with Hannah; Queens with Olivia; Portland, Oregon with Irene; Shelley, Idaho with Kaylee and Moses; and Valparaiso, Indiana with Marci and Courtney. Friends and family have gathered in all of the locations to welcome their respective Losers. Arthur's party is at his daughter's elementary school, and he tells us the tale of how he was worried that it would embarrass his daughter if he brought her to school on her first day. She wanted him to bring her, though, and held her head high even when others started to whisper, because she was proud of her dad. Arthur is crying and I am totally crying, too. Gah! That story just kills me. Arthur tells us that he still has a long way to go, but now he can hold his head up high when he walks through the building. Jesse leads the crowd in a chant as Arthur enters, and then grabs his daughter for a huge hug. His wife is bawling for real as she holds their son. I hope they're not going to make Arthur sit in an elementary school chair.