Biggest Loser

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | Grade It Now!
Care Package of Pain

Amy tells us that it's a game of mental toughness, and she didn't care if her whole body was numb or throbbing -- she wanted to win. At just over 105 minutes, however, Amy falls, which means that Vicky and Brady win the challenge. Vicky starts crying, probably because she thinks Brady's going to be aggravated that she spent all night hanging on a bar in a water tank. Purple Amy starts crying because she wanted to win. However, she's pretty excited to learn how strong she is. Vicky reveals that she gets her strength from thinking about her sister. Brady looks vaguely annoyed. Or maybe that's just his face. In any case, Sami tells the Brown Team that they get to award one other team a care package from home. Vicky chooses Amy and Shellay. Who else is surprised to see her do a nice and sensible thing?

A squirrel eats a nut on a tree branch, as squirrels are wont to do at the Biggest Loser Ranch. Vicky and Brady get their care package from home. If Vicky's sister secretly hated her she would have totally filled that box with Snickers bars. Instead, they get some shit from their kids, including a voice recorded greeting. They're both crying, and totally over all the issues from earlier in the episode. All it took was Vicky winning a challenge on their behalf. Shellay and Amy then get their care package. Let's hope the people in their families are less sappy. Indeed, Amy's dad has made them pillow cases with his image on them. That's pretty hilarious. It still makes them cry, though. Aw, and then he sent a double photo of he and Shellay on their wedding day, with the caption "I do," and in more recent times with the caption, "I still do." Aw, they totally love each other! Mr. Purple also sent them fluffy tiaras, which is awesome. At least we know that he's not the cause of Shellay's crippling self esteem!

Jillian visits her team at the gym, and in short order tells Shellay to take her hands off of the treadmill or get a swift punch in the face. Jillian is quite distressed to learn that her team didn't do their "homework," which is extra time cardio when the trainers aren't there. She interviews that she keeps trying to nudge them, but they will not be nudged. She screams that when they all get eliminated one by one she'll make sure the door doesn't hit their asses when they leave, and will then look forward to Season 7 when she gets some people who care. She screams to her team that they're not cutting it, and are worse than any season she's ever trained. She is totally through with this whole "being nice" experiment. She asks her team what's going on, and no one will let out a peep. Jillian is Sick Of It. She interviews that the women on her team want the results but don't want to do the work. If they want to stay, they need a complete overhaul. She tells them in so many words that they suck and points out the door. Amy starts giggling and Jillian tells her to get off of the elliptical and leave. Renee has totally been crying this whole time. Jillian tells her ladies to get their shit together. And with that, we conclude part A of episode four!

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Biggest Loser




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