Biggest Loser

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Yes We Can

But wait! There are still more players to bring out! Phil enters, and whoa! He looks completely different, and not a little like Howie Mandel. And then there's Amy P. -- holy double crow! First of all, I covet her dress, and second, she looks phenomenal. Then there's Brady, who looks good but totally still has some flub around the middle. Finally, we have Renee, who also looks amazing! She has a new short haircut, and her jailbait husband is in the audience holding up a sign of support. Awww. These bitches have worked it out. I love The Biggest Loser finale!

The weigh-ins continue, with Heba re-joining the remaining contestants who are competing for the at-home prize. First on the scale is Phil. Seriously, he looks SO DIFFERENT. I think he advertised on Craig's List for a skinny Phil look-a-like. Phil wanted to be able to be active with his kids, and by the looks of it he's achieved that goal. To beat out Amy C., Phil has to lose more than 144 pounds. Phil started at 331 pounds, and currently weighs 180 for a loss of 151! Whoa! That's 45.62%! Everyone who was mean to Phil can suck it. He's in first place. Amy P. is next to weigh in. During her time on the ranch she learned to balance her family's needs with her own. Oprah would be proud. Amy P. promised us that the next time we saw her she'd be a smoking hot 41-year old mom, and she has remained true to her word. She needs to lose more than 104 pounds to beat Phil. That seems like an awful lot for her. Amy started at 229 pounds, and now weighs 124, for a loss of 105 pounds or 45.85%! Whoa! Sami tells her she has family bragging rights for infinity. I will say that Amy and Phil look like maybe they are a liiiiittle hungry. Bob gives Amy a huge hug and tells her that she's hot. I think the two Amy's have brought Bob to the other side!

Brady is next on the scale. He wanted to set a better example for his family, and proved himself to be quite an athlete along the way. And he had braces for a minute! Wait, did I miss that? Brady needs to have lost 156 pounds to take the lead from Amy P. He doesn't seem to think he has a chance. Brady started at 341 pounds, and now weighs 224, for a loss of 117. That's 34.31%. Impressive, but not enough to take first place. Renee weighs in next. You might recall something about her reuniting with her daughter, Michelle, after five and a half years of not speaking. Renee needs to lose more than 122 pounds. She started at 267 and now weighs 161, for a loss of 106 pounds! That is awesome. At 39.7%, it's not enough to beat Amy P., though! And finally there's Heba. I have to say, Heba really looks amazing. She started off as the heaviest woman on the show, and wanted to prove to America that the biggest girl in the house can do it. She has certainly proven that she has the shiniest hair on the show. Amy P. totally cannot even LOOK at Heba. It's sort of awesome. Heba has to lose more than 134 pounds to win the $100,000 prize. She started at 294 pounds and now weighs 156, for a loss of 138 pounds or 46.9%. And that, folks, is a winning number. Oh, poo. I mean, good for her. Amy P. gives her a perfunctory pat on the back as Heba celebrates her $100,000 victory. If this is a Heba-Vicky double win, I don't think I'll be able to take it.

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Biggest Loser

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