Biggest Loser

Episode Report Card
Potes: A | 5 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
In With the Old

When we return, Sami does not waste time in announcing that America chose... Mike! The Montessori folks approve. Sami asks Mike if he's still confident that he can win, and he says that Tara and Helen are tough, so he doesn't know. Ron doesn't doubt him, though. Ron and Mike are shuffled backstage, and Sami lets us in on a new twist. Fellow Americans, our role is not yet over. For there are two contestants vying for a final spot on the next season of The Biggest Loser, and our vote -- during the show -- will determine who it will be. The winner will be announced at the end of the show. We meet the first potential contestant, Erin, a senior at Ohio State University. She's super-pretty and blonde and thus will likely win. Her weight struggles caused her to break up with her boyfriend. Actually, on second thought, someone who's on death's door might be able to trump her. Oh, but no. The second potential contestant is Amanda, 19, from Butler, New Jersey. She is also very pretty and blonde. It's impossible to distinguish one from the other, so I have a hard time being really invested in the result of this vote. Also, this stupid stunt is what's making this show an extra freaking hour long, so I can only look upon it with scorn and disgust. In case you were worrying that the surprises were over, you're in luck. Bob and Jillian are waiting at the backstage gym to beat the crap out of Erin and Amanda. Whoever survives gets the spot on the show. Sami gives the numbers, and I just realized that Erin has an extra "n" on her name -- she's actually Erinn. I, for one, just cast my vote for Amanda.

And now, back to business. It's time to catch up with the booted contestants and see who wins the $100,000 at-home prize! First up we have Estella and Jerry! Estella has embraced her inner crazy old bat, and I'm loving it. Bad call on the sleeveless shirt, though. And Jerry looks FREAKING AMAZING!! To ruin the moment, the camera cuts to some of Jerry's relatives in the audience holding up a sign that says, "We are the cousins of the oldest 'Biggest Looser.'" I mean, his skin is certainly looser than it was six months ago, but I don't think it's polite to point that out. Jerry flexes his muscles and it's awesome. Then there's Damien and Nicole, wearing matching red and black ensembles, and if you didn't think Nicole was in it to win it you weren't paying attention. She's Angela Bassett buff.

Sami tells the two couples that they look unbelievable and should be proud. Agreed! Sami reminds Jerry that he had to go to the hospital during his first hour in the gym. We flash back, and man did he look ashen and bad. And dead. Now Jerry is rocking it, though in some ways he still looks kind of dead. Sami asks him if he even recognizes the people in the flashback, and Jerry crazily yells, "He's gone! He's gone! I'm here!" I think Jerry is in the midst of some serious roid rage. Dr. Huizenga is in the audience and confirms to us that Jerry is a whole lot healthier than he used to be. But also perhaps demented. It's a toss-up. Sami then goes to Nicole and reminds us that she's going to be a bride in August. She asks what size wedding dress Nicole will be wearing, and Nicole happily says that it will be a size 8. Damien claps riotously, because he knows they make a really freaking hot couple.

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Biggest Loser

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