Biggest Loser

Episode Report Card
Potes: A | 5 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
In With the Old

Then it's time for Carla to weigh in. She was the heaviest woman ever to be on The Biggest Loser. She also maybe was going to stab Joelle. But she didn't, which may or may not be a good thing. Carla has to have lost more than 181 pounds to take the lead from Jerry. She did not do it. Carla goes from 379 to 251, for a loss of 128! Wow! That's awesome. Carla does a happy dance at her 33.77% weight loss. We then have Joelle. She was a nutcase when she started, and a nutcase when she left. Joelle needs to have lost more than 148 pounds to beat Jerry. There is also a distinct lack of suspense about this one. Joelle goes from 309 to 229 for a loss of 80 pounds. That's 25.89%, and Joelle is proud. Let's hope this is the last we ever see of her. Jerry pumps his fists and looks increasingly like Mr. Furley from Three's Company.

Then it's time to introduce Dane and Blaine. I totally forgot about them! Blaine emerges first, looking sharp in a suit jacket. Dane's not looking too bad, either! And then there's Mandi and Aubrey! Mandi looks gorgeous but extremely stressed. Oh, and Aubrey. I don't think she did very well at home. Sami asks Blaine and Dane what they've been up to. Turns out that they both did a half-marathon, then a full-marathon, then a half-iron man all in the span of three weeks! And ostensibly no cheating this time. Sami then addresses the fact that Aubrey is still kind of fat, and gives her the out of having a whole mess of kids at home and a house to clean and whatnot. Aubrey says that she's mastered the challenge of maintaining her weight, but in terms of losing more... it's hard. She says that she and her family help each other, and she tells the moms out there that they'll all get to their goal. Meanwhile, Erinn and Amanda are still working out backstage and pleading their cases while being publicly humiliated. All the gamey sweat in the room is ruining Jillian's hair, which makes me sad.

After a commercial break, Jerry continues to make Sami nervous and she hopes that Blaine or Dane or Mandi or Aubrey can beat him. Blaine steps on the scale. He needs to have lost more than 175 pounds to beat Jerry. Blaine does not appear to believe he has a chance. He goes from 365 to 249 for a loss of 116, or 31.78%. He flexes his guns to let us know he's happy with that. Dane is next, and boy, was he large when he started. 412 pounds large, to be exact. He wipes tears from his eyes as he steps on the scale and, pointing to his family in the audience, says that he's won already. Dane needs to have lost more than 197 pounds to take the lead from Jerry. He goes from 412 to 258 for a loss of 154 pounds, or 37.38%. That's pretty great, but still chump change compared to Jerry!

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Biggest Loser

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