Biggest Loser

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Red Line Special

With that, it's weigh-in time! Sami reminds the contestants that once again there is a red line, and the contestant on the losing team who has the lowest percentage of weight loss will be axed without deliberation. The Blue Team weighs in, with David hitting the scale first. He's been on crutches, which does not bode well. He goes from 287 pounds to 278, for a loss of 9 pounds. Gina is next, and goes from 230 to 223, for a loss of 7 pounds. Alex is next, and goes from 231 to 225 for a loss of 6 pounds. Then there's Michael, who goes from 423 to 409 for a loss of 14 pounds. Jeff is next, and goes from 359 to 359, for a difference of nada. Oh, shit. Everyone gets that shocked look, and Jeff says it's not a representation of how hard he worked. Bob agrees, saying that mathematically the number makes no sense. Jillian points out that he lost 29 pounds last week, and this is what happens when you have huge numbers. The real story here is that Jillian is rocking some Sarah Palin hair. Maybe she's having a breakdown? In any case, everyone is freaking out about their own potential donuts on the scale. And not the delicious bear claw kind! The Blue Team has lost 36 pounds total, or 2.35%.

The Red Team is up next, and will need to have lost more than 31 pounds collectively to stay safe. Cate is up first, and goes from 225 to 220, for a loss of 5 pounds. Francelina is next, and goes from 248 to 242 for a loss of 6 pounds. Jackson is next, going from 306 to 302, for a loss of 4 pounds. Well, it's better than zero! Dolvett is starting to get nervous now. Joe goes from 338 to 326 for a loss of 12 pounds. Only Lisa is left to weigh in, and must lose more than 4 pounds to guarantee safety for the team. She goes from 230 to 225 for a loss of 5 pounds, and is much relieved. The Red Team squeaks by with 32 pounds and a collective 2.38% lost! Jackson does a high kick to celebrate.

This of course leaves the White Team to weigh in. Pam is up first, and goes from 227 to 219, for a loss of 8 pounds. She cries with happiness. Danni is next, and goes from 239 to 234 for a loss of 5 pounds. She's also quite relieved since she had a big number last week. It all comes down to Nate. He'll need to have lost more than 5 pounds for his team to be safe. He goes from 339 to 334, for a loss of 5. That's not enough, and pretty much everyone is in disbelief. Jillian actually crouches down on the floor, though her Sarah Palin hair remains high. Jeff is kind of relieved at being safe, but since Nate is one of his good friends there, it's a bittersweet sort of relief. Danni and Pam have no idea what they're going to do now as a team of two. Nate was well below the red line -- Pam had a loss of 3.52%, Danni was at 2.09%, and Nate had 1.47%. Jillian cries, saying that Nate is a pleasure to come in and see every day. And when things were tough during the week, she could at least get excited about seeing Nate. She doesn't think that he deserves the axe. But The Biggest Loser is just completely about cruelty. Nate says that he is thankful for the two weeks he spent at the ranch, and couldn't imagine a better trainer or human than Jillian to help instruct him. Jillian holds him, cries through her false eyelashes, and tells him that he's going to be fine and can do this from home. And...is she fake crying? Or does everything she does just sound kind of fake these days?

Biggest Loser

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