Sami and Tim say that they have a surprise for the teams/families... it is OneRepublic. That is not a good surprise. At all. Actually, it's kind of the worst surprise possible. But these starved and worked-to-death people don't seem to mind and they dance their cares away to mellow fake rock. Austin and Sami dancing is kind of awkwardly adorable, which makes this scene mostly tolerable.

They are promising a never-before-seen weigh-in shocker coming up. Does someone lose a shit-ton of weight and/or gain two pounds? Because we've seen those scenarios unfold a lot, so they are gonna have to try hard to live up to their own hype.

On a beach, everyone is back in their sweaty workout gear, and she shows them a mini SUV they can win. Their challenge is to dig up one of 50 sandcastles that are car-shaped, get a box with a key in it, run a quarter of a mile, climb up a pier and then test to see if it opens. Then Sami goes all Oprah and says they are giving out two cars. Two! Because five would just be excessive. Irene wins one of the cars on her second try. She plans on giving the car to her mother, who drives a "hunk of junk." After an hour and 45 minutes, on the second-to-last key available, Olivia wins the second car.

Last chance workout. The beatings commence. Bob is wearing a jaunty little cap, because that's typical gym attire. He's also pissed off that they took time out to get their hair did, so he forces them to balance on upside-down Bosu balls as punishment. They all really want to be in the final four, in case there was any doubt.

Hannah is up first at the weigh-in, which delights her because she's always stuck going last. She goes from 156 to 154 for a loss of 2, or 1.28%. She tries not to blame 10 hours in a salon. Jay makes a stinkface when he sees he's only lost 3 pounds (1.16%) Jillian says that something has been different about him since he came back, but if he survives, she promises to Dr. Phillian him to death. Austin loses a whopping 7 pounds, making his total amount lost at 160 pounds. So insane.

Irene, who looks super-teeny-tiny already, needs to have lost more than 1 lb to stay in the game. She loses two, and pushes Jay below the yellow line. Olivia wants to cross the 100 lb. mark because she's promised to sing on the scale when she hits that benchmark. If she loses enough weight to cross the mark, she's putting her sister on the chopping block, but she doesn't care, she wants to hit her milestone. She hopes her sister would do the same. She crushes it, and loses 4 lbs, instead of just the one she needed. A lot of sad faces, as the voice of Tim comes out of nowhere. He appears via like blue screen or something, and removes the yellow line and tells them that no one is going home this week. Was this the big tease? I'm underwhelmed. Clearly this is thanks to Rulon and his chip-loving self for quitting. Jillian says that Jay's been blessed to get this third chance. Sami doesn't forget about Olivia promising to sing, so instead of an elimination we get her belting out her dream role. Bob's crying. Obviously. Even Sami swipes away a tear, and this abbreviated episode wraps up.