Biggest Loser

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Angel Cohn: A- | Grade It Now!
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Magic Hour

The Voice isn't what you'd call my favorite show on the planet, but anything that can condense the bloated Biggest Loser into one hour is OK by me. Viva La Voice! Anyway, not that this show asked, but I am on some crazy diet today, which should make me feel proud, but instead makes me feel hungry. All the Extra gum in the world isn't going to help, I've got a feeling.

The contestants are all totally naturally just taking a stroll outside when a horse and buggy that looks like it belongs in front of Cinderella's castle shows up with Tim Gunn inside of it. Olivia and Hannah are particularly excited to meet their fairy godfather, who has come to bestow them with the gift of good hair and nice clothing taste. Olivia has Tim Gunn in her top five list of people who she'd like to meet in her life (understandably, some might say), so her head looks like it is about to explode. If so, does that count as a weight loss? Eight pounds, right?

Mr. Gunn actually introduces himself as a fairy godfather, and here I was worried that someone might take offense to that fabulous title when I mentioned it previously. He's doing makeover week with a twist. He's got three gifts for the skinnyfied folks. The first is changing their looks, and the second and third are secrets... because that how this show rolls.

Jay tries to pretend that he knows what Tim Gunn does and/or who he is. They go in a fancy room that has tuxes and fancy ball gowns. This room is supposed to be inspirational for them, to give them ideas for shapes and colors. Olivia says that she never imagined feeling beautiful or wearing clothes that aren't from the plus-sized rack. She reminds us, again, that she's an opera singer and she can now wear regular costumes. Tim looks like he's on the verge of tears. He's really moved by this whole experience. God, I just love this man. OH, and then he pulls out a wand and poofs them away. I'm bursting with love for him. Can he host this instead of Sami?

The ladies and gents show up at Ken Paves' salon, start chewing Extra gum, and getting inches chopped off their hair. Austin looks confused by the entire process. We don't get to see the hair results, but Hannah seems taken aback when she sees her hair.

We don't have to wait long (hooray for one-hour episodes!) to see why she was so surprised. She arrives via horse and buggy wearing a mermaid-style dress in pale green, with opera gloves and blonde hair with bangs. Tim makes her spin around. She looks fantastic, and nearly unrecognizable. Good for her for embracing the transformation instead of breaking down about having any of her precious locks touched, like the ladies on Top Model. Tim says gift two is her family, like anyone who has ever seen this show before didn't see that coming. Still, she freaks out when she sees her dad, and naturally her dad starts bawling the second he sees her. He's really proud, and worried about fending off potential suitors with a gun. Love him, too. I'm just full of love tonight for some reason. Perhaps it is the lack of food.

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Biggest Loser

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