Biggest Loser
NASCAR Driver Clint Bowyer Guest Stars

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Baby You Can Pull My Car

It is night on the Biggest Loser campus. The Blue Team returns from elimination minus Cathy. Mike and Tara are shocked that Aubrey has lived to see another week. Aubrey and Kristin explain that Cathy sacrificed herself for them, and we relive the tearful scene. Tara tells us that Aubrey lucked out. Ron notes that Cathy went home to keep Kristin on campus and says that he would do the same thing for Mike. I have to say that although I thought Helen was kind of a hooker for not sacrificing herself at first, I'm actually digging her self-serving ways in the face of all this treacle. Kristin is totally sad to see the empty twin bed on the other side of her room. However, she says that this has lit a fire under her. So that's what that smell is. She's determined to make the most of her time remaining on the ranch.

The next morning the contestants head to the gym where Sami greets them in front of a row of headless and legless mannequins bearing the colored shirts of all the original teams. That's because it's time to go to singles! And not, like, speed dating singles. It's do-it-yourself singles, where you have no team to either pull you down or protect you. The show, needing to kill some time since there aren't that many contestants left, makes a big production out of giving everyone their originally colored shirts. [Maybe the show could just go down to an hour and then we wouldn't need all this never-ending padding. Just saying. -- Angel] The contestants are happy. Mike has lost the most weight on campus, and Sami shows him his shirt from his first day at the ranch. It's huge. Aubrey reminds us that Mike, in losing 118 pounds, has lost a whole person. Or 17 cats! His old shirt could provide shelter for a whole village in Gambia.

But wait! There's more! The contestants can count on one other person besides themselves -- their trainer. And now, after all the dickery in moving them from one trainer to the other, and all the tears and the screaming and the pussydom, each contestant gets to pick his or her own trainer. Sami reminds us that this means either Bob or Jillian. Helen would totally do something like shout out, "I'm going to sweat to the oldies with Richard Simmons!" so it's good to have that clarification. If she wants to deal a meal on her own time, however, I'm sure it's okay. Sami gives everyone a half hour to think it over. Sione and Filipe and Ron, of course, don't have much mulling over to do. However, some contestants are really struggling, and/or are making a big dramatic production out of it just like everything else. Kristin takes a walk and ruminates, as if there's any chance she's going to defect. Aubrey tells us that Jillian has proven herself every season, and is in fact undefeated as a trainer. On the other hand, Bob has opened a door for her and given her faith that she can make it to the end. It's really a win-win, unless you choose the trainer who goes into a fit of violent rage whenever you're around.

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Biggest Loser

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