The suited Blue Team heads off to Stratosphere. This is apparently some sort of ride that is very, very high. And maybe it's called the Slingshot? Vegas is confusing. Jay hems and haws about going on the ride, and Dan quite correctly calls him a puss. He says he could eat this ride for breakfast. It's all Doozer Sticks to him. Dan Cam shows Dan preparing to go on the ride. More importantly, it also shows that he wears a diamond stud in his ear. It makes him feel mighty real. Turns out that Roger had tried to ride the Slingshot before, but was too heavy and the safety harness thing wouldn't fit over him. Now that he's all skinny, he can ride it with Dan and Mark. And then we get to see how the Slingshot works. The riders go up and down the tall tower very rapidly and rhythmically. Basically, they're giving the Slingshot a human hand job. I don't even have to tell you the amount of hand-slapping and chest-bumping and man-hugging that ensues when they're done.
Back at the ranch, the Black Team continues to work out. No phallic rides for them! Jillian says she knows the Blue Team boys, and she's sure that they'll be working their tails off in Vegas. Well, their tails are sore, that's for sure. Kelly interviews that if the Black Team won that prize, she doesn't think Jillian would have let them go. I have no doubt that Kelly is correct about this. Or else she would have made them climb up and down the Slingshot 15 times. Kelly says that they still have their trainer, and will be able to get the beatings while the Blue Team is gone. I love that she says "beatings" with total seriousness.
The Blue Team gambles. Mark seems like he's enjoying it, but acknowledges that he has other things on his mind -- namely, the weigh-in. He and Jay retire early so they can go to the gym the next morning. There is no slowing Dan and Roger down, though. Dan is 21 and a self-professed party animal, so he's living larger. Roger introduces all kinds of hot chicks to Dan. Nice cover, Asslabama. Dan and Roger return back to the room at 6:01 AM, pleased with their debauchery.
The next morning, Mark and Jay work out while Roger and Dan sleep. And ha! We get a shot of Dan snoring in his boxer briefs. Mark is disappointed in the actions of his teammates, but Jay says that he knows they'll get their workouts in later. Dan and Roger continue to sleep. The Black Team, meanwhile, enjoys the peace and quiet with the Blue Team gone. Kelly is pleased that they get to stay focused while the Blue Team faces the evil known as buffets. Mark is dying to scold Dan and Roger, but Jay won't let him. Mark says that he thinks the fact that Dan and Roger didn't do their work will play into the decision of who to eliminate from the Blue Team. Well, that was a little spoilery, wasn't it? After their workout, the brothers wake up Dan and Roger, and while Dan tries to catch some additional shut-eye, Roger gets all mad at Jay and Mark for not waking him up at 7:00 to go workout with them. Set your fucking alarm, loser. Roger is extra especially on my last damn nerve. He interviews that yes, he might have gotten home at six, but he's man enough to get up and get his work done. Well, then be man enough to dial the front desk and ask for a wake-up call. If you want to run with the big dogs, he says, you have to get off the porch. What does that even mean?









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