Biggest Loser

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Hello, I Must Be Going

The challenge begins! Michelle does a reasonable job impersonating Sami and her endless prattling. With everyone still standing, the first connecting rope is cut. Then the second is cut. No one falls. This pattern continues. Filipe taunts Michelle, so she cuts two ropes in quick order. People get shaky, and Mike is the first to fall in the water. He's quickly followed by Filipe. With 20 ropes remaining, Laura falls. Michelle cuts another, and soon after cuts two more. Tara falls, and thinks that perhaps losing this challenge will get people off her back a bit. Helen falls, and with 16 ropes remaining, Kristin, Sione and Nicole are still alive. Nicole falls at 15 ropes, leaving Sione and Kristin going head to head. Sione gives Kristin a serious death glare, but her stripey highlights contain a magical death glare shield. Foiled! With ten ropes remaining, they both stay strong. Finally, at nine ropes, Kristin falls. Sione is the winner! He's psyched, and admires his own perseverance.

Meanwhile, Ziploc 100 calorie containers! "You can't put too many calories in there." Not even if you fill it with cheesy lard hot dog soup?

Last chance workout! Bob takes his team to Muscle Beach, because he wants to gaze upon some hot ass as he taunts his contestants. Jillian has the gym all to herself, and says that with Nicole having immunity and Sione having a one-pound advantage, she has to pull out all the stops. Meanwhile, Bob continues to whup his team and even kneels on Sione's back. Sione learns the pleasures of having male flesh behind him. Meanwhile, Mike and Jillian wrassle. It seems like maybe he's going to kill her, like she's being gored by a bull, but I think she lives. Meanwhile, Nicole is happy to be back on campus and cries to prove it. Bob hugs her, and tells her that she deserves a second chance. It's true. Bob wants Nicole to try not to get too stressed, because stress makes you fat.

Additionally, when Ron returns to the ranch, Mike is quite happy to see that he's alive and back. Ron has been pumped with fluids, so worries about his chances at the weigh-in. Mike tells him not to fall on the sword for anybody. I don't think we have to worry about that.

Weigh-ins! And woah! Sami is back! That bitch needs to take maternity leave. She seems quite happy to see everyone, though, and probably quite happy not to be lugging around 10 pounds of baby anymore. Since Nicole has immunity, she is the first to weigh in. She goes from 182 to 187 for a GAIN of FIVE POUNDS! Everyone is SHOCKED. Nicole passes it off on getting used to life at the ranch. Bob thinks that it's stress biting her in the ass, but not hard enough to chew off a pound or two. Nicole has gained 2.75%, which means that she will NOT have immunity and will in fact be up for elimination after all. Oh, shit. Helen tells us that after the shock wore off a lot of people felt pretty relieved about their own chances for safety. We flash to Tara giving a big, toothy smile. Oh, poor Nicole.

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Biggest Loser

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