Biggest Loser
Season 12, Episode 11

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High Five

Then it's time for everyone to visit Ken Paves, who is super excited to be working with the show again. The men get some basic and much needed facial grooming, and everyone pretty much is open to letting Ken do whatever he sees fit. Of course, these are nothing nearly as extensive as the America's Next Top Model Ty-Overs, so probably no one is in danger of having their scalp burned or getting a weave of destruction.

After a break, we get extreme close ups of various contestant body parts, which give us hints of glamor but don't spoil the overall makeover excitement. They are riding in stretch limos to a red carpet event. Or, a red carpet, anyway. I don't think there's an actual event involved, other than the filming of this show. Somebody got some nice passersby to hang out and gawk, though. John is first out, and he looks kind of like George Costanza. But in a good way! Antone is next, and does in fact look quite dapper, if like he might try to sell you a car. Then it's Sunny's turn. Thankfully she's not wearing the hideous maxi-skirt ensemble, but rather a lovely and flattering black cocktail dress. The cutest thing about this whole ordeal is how excited Sami is to see everyone with their new looks. Next it's Vinny's turn. He looks awesome! He says that he feels like a movie star. Finally there's Becky! Whoa! She's had the most dramatic hair transformation, with a new shorter hairdo, along with a leopard print skirt of some sort. I think these people were trying to transform her into a Kardashian aunt, or at least second cousin.

The contestants continue their red carpet walk inside, and it turns out they're going to see the Cirque de Soleil. No offense to Canadians or clown-mimes, but that shit freaks me right the fuck out. But wait! There are not long-faced folks in inhuman contortions! Rather, Becky's husband J.C. emerges. He looks and like he walked right out of a community theater production of Our Town. Just, old-timey in a really enjoyable way. He's so cute. AND! He's also lost 50 pounds! They are really an adorable couple. And then J.C. gets down on his knee and puts Becky's wedding ring back on her finger! She had outgrown it, and is clearly quite moved to be able to wear it once again. Aw, I want the show to just get those two a room, stat. New skinny sex must be a good time.

Vinny is next to get a visit from a loved one, his fiancée Lori. She cries as she tells us that she's extremely proud of him. Vinny confesses that he wondered if Lori wouldn't like him now. But his fears were for naught, because she likes him a lot! Vinny's chin quivers with the force of how much he loves Lori. He tells her that he always cared about making people smile and laugh, but he never cared about taking care of himself, because he never cared about whether he was alive or not -- until he met Lori. He cries as he says that there's a reason why he's supposed to be alive. Having someone who loves and cares about him made Vinny think that he was good enough to deserve this. He wants to stick around and love on Lori as long as he can.

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Biggest Loser

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