And then we have the final group. There's Debbie, whose claim to fame is being the first eliminated. She is very, very sassy. And hey! Coach Mike! He looks great, and is quite a silver fox. Then there's Joe, also looking fab. Oh boy, and there's Jennifer, in a sexy black dress, trying to woo Bob with her womanly wiles. So, clearly, Joe and Jennifer are the contenders from this group. Debbie's current weight is 206, and she lost a total of 33 pounds. That's not very good at all! Coach Mike weighs 223, and he lost 86 pounds total. Debbie gives a shout out to a "special friend," which is quite mysterious, and Coach Mike also tows the line of age not being an issue. Age is totally an issue! I'm not saying that it makes things impossible, but obviously things are going to be a little more complicated when you're 65 than when you're 25.
Sami introduces a montage of Joe talking about his family and crying a whole bunch. And then there's a montage of Jennifer being obsessed with Bob. It's hilarious when you put jaunty music behind it, but less hilarious when Bob is chopped up in pieces in her car trunk. Bob brings Jennifer flowers, and then she hugs him for 100 minutes. And then she goes in for a second hug! Sami tells them to get a room after the show, then admits that she wants to bone Bob too. I mean, who doesn't? And the player who will weigh in against Vinny and Patrick is...Jennifer! Wow, I'm surprised about that one. Joe's current weight is 215 pounds, which is a loss of 133 pounds.
With that, it's time for the $100,000 contenders to weigh in. Patrick is first. He goes from 387 to 236, for a loss of 151 pounds. That's 39.02%. Jennifer is up next on the scale. She goes from 330 to 185, for a loss of 145 pounds. That's 43.94%. Whoa! I think having all that crazy inside of you is good for the metabolism. Finally, there's Vinny, looking pretty skinny. He'll need to have lost more than 187 pounds to win. He goes from 426 to 242. That's 184 pounds, which means that he did NOT win the at-home prize. Crazy Jennifer won! Now she can use that $100,000 to build a shed in her backyard in which to keep Bob captive. But, like, girl power or whatever.
So, finally it's time to get to the final three. There is a lot of montage happening. You guys watched the show all season, and I already recapped this shit multiple times, so just trust that there was nothing about it that you need to be updated on. And then the final three emerge! First there is Ramon, who is looking very suave. He interacts with his fat hologram self, and looks precisely 6,000 times better than he used to. That haircut is miraculous. Ramon smiles so wide that I'm afraid he's going to crack his face, and tells Sami that life is the greatest thing ever. Sami asks Anna what she thinks, and she says that, no offense to Jessica, Ramon looks hot. Ramon does some sort of hard work / dedication chant, and may be in a fit of 'roid excitement. Dolvett tells Ramon that he's brilliant and a winner, and the whole time you can randomly hear someone else talking about something. Maybe it's the voices in at-home winner Jennifer's head?