Biggest Loser
Season 12, Episode 9

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: B | 2 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
Five Alive

Let's take a moment of silence to remember Anna Kournikova's one short-lived season on this show. OK. Now let's proceed and we can see that she's actually competent at her job when she doesn't have to deal with the older folks, particularly Bonnie who just really had no respect for the tennis pro at all. I'm sure Potes will have some stronger feelings about this, when she returns, but I suspect she won't care unless it involves Dolvett.

This week the gang deals with a pentathlon. Five events! But before you get too excited and think that means that they are doing a giant last-chance workout filled with tortuous relays, let's remember for a moment that this is The Biggest Loser. OK? First up, there's a popularity contests where the remaining seven contestants have to arbitrarily rank their competitors in order of who deserves to win. Some people take this to mean weight loss, some people fall for some sob stories. They don't find out where they land on the points scale until the end of the week. The winner of the pentathlon will earn immunity and the person who gets the least points will be saddled with an extra pound.

The second round is on the tennis court, which will probably be getting a lot less use next season. They have set up each person with a little podium that has three sticks on it. Then at the other end of the court there are little tubes, you grab the tube and cover the person you want out. The first person out (in this case, Ramon... who everyone is gunning for) gets one point, and the last person out (Sunny) gets seven. I hate these stupid challenges and they feel the need to do a variation of it least once a season.

At this point, there's some gym workouts. Bob reminds us (because this show needs more exposition) that they are in singles and the people under the yellow line are vulnerable. Yes. We've seen this show and Ali already explained that at the beginning of the episode and I ignored it. Ramon and Sunny get quite the beating from Anna. Dolvett tortures John, but John doesn't seem to be doing his best. He gets pretty pissed off, in fact, when Dolvett decides to repeatedly drop a medicine ball on his stomach. Dolvett talks about trust and confidence, and mostly I'm just staring at his lovely wicked smile. I am seeing what Potes likes about him.

The third leg of the pentathlon, which is unfolding over several days, which makes it even lamer, is a food quiz about calories and shit. Antone dominates this, getting only one wrong. Becky gets one about math wrong, and given that she's a math teacher, it's embarrassing. It doesn't even really matter who comes in where in the standings, as all the results will be screwed up when the popularity stats are announced.

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