Biggest Loser
Season 12, Where Are They Now?

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Jive Turkeys

It's the Biggest Loser Thanksgiving celebration! Now, normally this involves little taped segments with various contestants past, at least one of whom is totally fat again and is viciously shamed with sympathy. This year they have taken out all of fun and have no re-fatted contestants! I feel so cheated. We know they're out there! What's more, the special is taped in front of a live studio audience, with a few bloopers from this season and little pre-commercial tips from some skinny lady who is obsessed with helping us have a healthier Thanksgiving. Lady, you can pry my stuffing out of my cold, fat, dead hands. Maybe the people who are fat again refused to be a part of this on principle, because of the stuffing issue. I can't really blame them.

We begin by taking a look at how this season started. In the desert, with obese people. I mean, you watched it. They divided up by age, and had to run a mile to choose their trainers. The folks in the middle finished first and took Bob, while the younger team chose Dolvett and the oldsters got Anna by default. And then the trainers come out. Oh, DOLVETT! He is so handsome in real people clothes! I can't even handle it. Sami asks Dolvett to share what it feels like to be part of something as deep and amazing as changing people's lives. Dolvett talks about taking people from A to Z, from doubt to belief, and it's all a little Oprah-fied for me. I like Oprah to be Oprah and Dolvett to be smiling and shirtless and not saying much at all.

Anna of course looks great as well, though I have to say she could stand a second serving of stuffing. Sami starts talking about some of the feedback she's seen online, and Anna can't believe she reads that stuff. Sami says she can't help it. Wait, that means that Sami could be reading these recaps! Hi Sami! We love you even though we never use your real name! Put re-fatted people back into this special next year! It's the only reason we watch! Anyway, Sami notes that viewers have said it's unfair to have the contestants separated into teams by age. Anna says that older people are more set in their ways, but she had a great team effort overall. Except from Bonnie, who hated her. Bob then comes out, saying that because most people have Thanksgiving day off, you can get a workout in before your Thanksgiving meal. Shut up, Bob, and let me enjoy my stuffing. Sami adds that you don't know you're full for a while, so you might try eating slowly. Bob agrees that you should give yourself a 20 minute buffer before you eat your way into a coma. Sound advice, that.

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