Biggest Loser
Season 13, Episode 16

Episode Report Card
Potes: B- | 2 USERS: A+
Occupy Biggest Loser

It is now 8:55 AM. 8:55! DO YOU FEEL THE DRAMATIC TENSION?!?!? Someone on the crew is talking to Mark, Jeremy, Conda, and Buddy, and confirming with all of them that they're quitting because they think the twist is unfair. He should have been like, "So you're quitting because you're babies. Is that right?" He's going to get legal, but encourages them to keep thinking about it. Kim didn't seem to be in that scene, but we see her with the others as they sit around bitterly, so I assume she's in on it too. At one point Buddy says to Conda that he wants to negotiate, but she doesn't think this is a negotiation. And I mean, fine. Bring back five past players then! WE DO NOT GIVE A SHIT, FOR REAL. We never even liked you in the first place! GO!

Bob tells Dolvett the news, and he too is befuddled. The two trainers head to the pool to see what's going on. We catch a glimpse of Mark saying that he has only well wishes for the five contestants that they're going to bring back. Me too! Let's get 'em in there! IT IS NOW 9:30. Bob and Dolvett are like, "Hey girl, hey," to the Losers, and when asked what's going on, Kim says, "It doesn't involve you." Now, just calm down everyone. Nobody will say anything more. Bob is confused by the fact that no one even seems angry. It's true that these people are just being giant weirdos right now. Buddy says, "At some point, we gotta own us. We own us." Section XIV clause C of the contract that they signed undoubtedly proves that statement false. You want to own yourself? Then buy some vegetables at your local grocery store and get a gym membership, with no cash prize at the end of your endeavors. This is season thirteen of this show, and season one million of competitive reality shows generally. The original cast of Survivor may have been able to pull this crap, but at this point no one has the patience. Mark tries to rustle up some logic about this kind of twist never happening right at the end, and the unfairness blah blah blah, and it's time to make a stand. As if fairness is ever a priority, say, in the elimination room when your alliance of unlikeable people votes off perfectly good competitors?

And then it's 9:55. Sami enters, probably thinking that this is actually NOT in her contract and she could be off shooting some scenes with Deidre Hall at this moment. She has attorney Jeff Friedman with her, and asks each contestant to come into the living room, one at a time, and explain his or her decision. As Jeff understands it, the contestants are deciding to leave because they don't want to be controlled by producers on the show or told what to do at certain times. He points out that when you come on a competitive reality show, this is what you have to expect. Jeremy tells Jeff that he knows that, but this is a matter of right and wrong. In his heart, he feels that this is wrong. What a bunch of bitches, for real. Jeff then is a total boss as he says, "In terms of, you know, you saying that it's unfair, you got the series rules before you started on the show. It did say that all the eliminated contestants would be invited back to participate in a challenge, and that whoever won that challenge would earn a spot in the finals. And so, because that was upfront for everybody... it seems unfair to us to say to everyone who's at home, who signed those series rules along with you before the show started, sorry. Then they're going to say it's unfair." Boom! Jeremy argues that this twist was not presented as a definite, and Jeff in turn gets out the contract and points out that indeed, it was presented as a definite. He reads it aloud, and Jeremy OBVIOUSLY feels like a dumb-ass. As he should!

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