Biggest Loser
Season 13, Episode 2

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Potes: B | Grade It Now!
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Know When to Fold 'Em

And then before we know it the contestants are meeting up with Biggest Loser nutritionist Rachel Beller. She's there to smash the excuse of not knowing how to eat healthily. The contestants are going to the market today, and Rachel is going to offer some shopping cart solutions. My solution is to only get one of the little hand baskets, which then always ends up weighing 60 pounds, thus giving me a stellar arm workout. In the grocery store, there are obviously a lot of cookies, cakes, pies, etc. But Rachel tells the contestants to think of the shopping cart like their empty stomachs. They want to fill them with good stuff first. Rachel then loses me when she starts to speak disparagingly of sushi. There are a lot of carbs in those rolls, I guess. She suggests getting a turkey sandwich instead, which is no kind of solution if you ask me. Oh jeez, and then Rachel pulls out a frozen pizza. STEP OFF OF THE DIGIORNO, YOU SKANK. She tries to terrify everyone by noting that a frozen pizza is 2,000 calories. Well, what's wrong with that? Just don't eat the whole fucking thing! I am never taking this lady shopping with me. She hates everything that I live for. They head to the pasta aisle next, which is in fact levels one to four of the Potes food pyramid. Rachel suggests thinking of pasta as a side (to a main vegetable dish) rather than a main course. What if it's ravioli? Wait, don't answer that. Mike is a man after my own heart, and wants to get some liquor. He notes that being on the ranch is like being at the Betty Ford Clinic, but a lot cheaper. In other news: salad dressing is full of fat. As much as fried chicken, in the case of ranch! Rachel suggests getting something with olive oil instead. That recommendation is one that I can get behind. Still, though, I decree her a hack. Frozen pizza and main course pasta and sushi forever!

With that, it's challenge time. The contestants head to the ocean, and see pelicans and dolphins and the like. Kimmy says she wants to get out there and ride the dolphins. I'd wait until at least week 12 to try that one, I think. Sami says that every member of the winning team for this challenge will get The Biggest Loser meal plan for six months, which is quite exciting to everyone. For the challenge, each team has to work together to turn an anchor wheel and pull in a set of 24 puzzle pieces. They have to solve the puzzle, and the first team to foist it up wins. Boy, does this show love puzzles. The Red Team has one extra person, so Nancy is selected to sit out.

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Biggest Loser

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