Biggest Loser
Season 13, Episode 5

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Shut Up, Conda

Previously: Mrs. Claus, also known as Chris, had kind of a mental crack much to the annoyance of everyone. She narrowly escaped elimination, however, thanks to the fact that Gail was even more annoying with her near-constant whining. Where are the kick-ass seniors in this bunch? This week, the show is taking on yet another excuse: "I'll never reach my goal." Not with that attitude you won't!

We begin the episode post-elimination, where Sami tells the Black Team to gather the Red Team members and meet her in the gym. Chris is pissed that she was one vote away from being eliminated. That's what happens when you tell everyone you want to leave, you ding-dong! Sorry, that's no way to speak to the wife of the guy who brings us all presents and stuff to celebrate the birth of Our Lord. But really. Oh! And then everyone is back in front of the scale and the Aqua Team enters. They get to weigh-in and see if they've lost a collective 50 pounds and earned a spot back on campus. Conda tells us that she's not happy about this development, as if she's ever happy about anything. Mark is much more charitable for the moment. Daphne and Adrian tell everyone that they've been working hard, and Adrian also points out that he is wearing an ascot. Under his Biggest Loser sweatshirt. Yeah, I don't know. Perhaps he'd like to join the Put This On Gentlemen's Association pocket square subscription service?

Sami announces that if the Aqua Team reaches the 50-pound goal and returns to campus, they'll also get immunity this week. This also prompts Kim to be a jerk about the fact that they're getting a second chance. What's up with these people? Be nice to your fellow fatties! Daphne steps on the scale first. She goes from 271 pounds to 245, for a loss of 26 pounds. She's certainly done her part in this endeavor. Adrian goes from 370 to 336, for a loss of 34 pounds. That's a collective 60 pounds, and the Aqua Team is back on the ranch! Oh, good for them. I hope they win it all, and Adrian can wave his ascot in celebration. Sami explains to them that they have to be separated on the Red and Black Teams. They both want Bob, and neither will budge. Eventually they do rock, paper, scissors, and Daphne wins the right to be on Bob's team. Both of the Aqua Team members are full of exuberance and life, which only invokes more ire from Kim. She should really try to avoid being mean, given that she has a mean-looking face to begin with.

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