Biggest Loser
Season 13, Episode 8

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So Emotional

Previously: Daphne got REALLY mad about Adrian's elimination, and wound up going head to head against Conda in an at-home challenge where only their weights counted on the big scale. Sami asks, "Will Daphne's success on the scale put their rivalry to rest?" The fact that she even has to ask makes me think no. And the excuse that the show is tackling this week is, "I lack self-control." I'd say that's less an excuse than a state of being, especially in Girl Scout Cookie season.

We enter with everyone sitting around the table and chatting, and then Sami comes in with a giant cake to celebrate Buddy's birthday. Is the cake made of Jennie-O turkey? The contestants are suspicious. Sami explains the excuse of the week, and Buddy asks if this means he isn't going to get his birthday cake. Emily, meanwhile, expounds upon her lack of self-control. That's an excuse! We know that now! But wait, there's more. Sami tells the contestants that you can control yourself, or control the entire game. Yes, it's a temptation challenge. They leave the cake behind and head into a room with a whole lot of tasty food. Jeremy is sick of vegetables and fish, so pizza and pasta and peanut butter cups are looking good to him. In fact, the circular table that they stand before contains everyone's favorite foods. Oooh! This temptation challenge is where I first learned about monkey bread, which I still have not tried. It's probably best not to open that carb- and sugar-filled Pandora's Box. Sami finds it curious that someone's favorite food is venison steak, but Kimmy explains that her family loves deer-everything. Mmm, Bambi kabobs. Sami asks if Kimmy hunts and kills the deer herself. It turns out that she's hit TWELVE DEER with her car. I'm sorry, but she's a serial killer. A deer-ial killer. In the forest she's simply known as "Dexter."

Anyway, the rules for the temptation challenge are simple. The person who eats the most can change the teams however they want. Eyes get big, mouths drop. Buddy remembers Michael winning this challenge a few seasons ago, and eventually winning the whole show. Yeah, but he also weighed like 600 pounds to start with, and still weighed 300 or something when he won. Sami adds a good twist for gluttons: no one will know who won the challenge, because the winner will remain anonymous. Jeremy points out to us that it's hard to keep a secret in such close quarters. Sami will announce the winner's decision after everyone has had a turn. Mark is first, and also being a hillbilly he goes for the venison. Coming from a family of hillbillies, I say that with love. Mark has eaten two plates of venison, for 312 calories. That's actually, like, a healthy snack. Chris is next, and goes right for the pepperoni pizza. She feels like she's constantly on the chopping block, so has a vested interest in taking some control in the game. She eats multiple snacks, totaling 1039 calories. Holy cripes.

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Biggest Loser

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