Biggest Loser

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Special Guest Appearance By Jillian's Mom

And then, it's challenge time! The contestants greet Ali at the side of a chilly lake. She tells them that they have to choose two pairs from each team who will stand on balance beams over the water. The members of each pair will hold onto opposite ends of a rope, and tied to the rope will be the total amount of weight lost by that pair in their time on the show. Whoever can keep the weight in the air the longest will win. If you drop the weight, you're out. Jillian notes that Bernie's 50%-off gameplay card means that he'll only be carrying 50% of his weight lost for this challenge. The winning team will get to give immunity to two people -- one member of their own team, and one member of the other team. Mark notes that this is great, because you can give immunity to the person on the other team who is dragging them down and not helping them win weigh-ins. Always scheming, that one! The Blue Team opts to leave out the balance-impaired Trent from the challenge, which means that Mark, Jay, Roger, and Dan will be playing. The Black Team will leave out Kelly, who doesn't want to fall in the cold water. This means that Bernie, Brittany, Paul, and Maggie will play.

The teams take their places! Mark and Dan are one pair, balancing 130 pounds in between them. Roger and Jay balance 107 pounds. Maggie and Paul balance 85 pounds, while Bernie and Brittany balance 62. Each person is standing on a pretty slim beam, and I have to say that it all looks kind of hard. And then! Sami does her normal narration which, granted, is witless and annoying but doubtlessly part of her contract, and says that Mark looks like he's about to fall in. Mark shoots back, "I'm not falling in, I'm readjusting here. Don't act so dramatic -- this isn't a soap opera." Sami gets all pursed in the lips. She is totally going to hire someone to kidnap his baby then try to sell it on the black market. That's what happens when you swear on your child's life, folks. Additionally, Mark would do well to stop sounding like such a wife-beater.

The teams hit the five-minute mark as Sami taunts them. Roger and Jay are the first to fall in the water. At ten minutes, the remaining three teams are still in it. Dan and Mark are looking shaky. I think Dan should totally throw this. And then Dan and Mark fall! Yes! It looks like Mark's fault entirely. In any case, victory for the Black Team! Paul notes that it feels good every time they get a little hunk of Goliath. In retrospect, Mark says that choosing a member of each team to get immunity is going to be negative, so he's glad they lost this challenge. Additionally, he's never tasted such an unpleasantly tart grape. Sami tells the Black Team that they have to tell her who they choose to have immunity before the next weigh-in, and adds that the weight lost by the immune folks will still count as part of the whole team's percentage.

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Biggest Loser

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