Biggest Loser

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Surprise Escalator Challenge Changes The Game Forever

Meanwhile, John McCain takes Florida. I suppose Bob wants him on the Blue Team, too. Personally, I'd go for Romney, as he can lose at least three pounds in hair grease and eyebrows. Meanwhile, you guys, I don't mean to sound dumb, but I was kind of surprised to learn that John McCain is, like, old. I'm not trying to be discriminatory. I'm just saying that my dental hygienist seems to be about 71, and she pokes me in the gums A LOT.

The Black Team needs to have lost more than 41 pounds to win. Jenn is up first. She goes from 229 to 223, for a loss of 6. She's really happy. Kelly is proud of her, and says that she worked very hard. The Blue Team starts to squirm. Maggie is next, and goes from 218 to 211, for a loss of 7. She's pretty excited too, and also conveniently forgets that she water-loaded last week. Bernie who, you might recall, has something to prove, is next. He goes from 241 to 236, for a loss of 5. It's pretty disappointing. He doesn't feel like he pulled his weight, so to speak. The three remaining members of the Black team need to lose 23 pounds. Brittany is next, and is hoping for a large number. She goes from 201 to 199, for a loss of 2. Oooh, that hurts. She can't even be happy about being under 200. Paul and Kelly need to lose 21 pounds total, which seems pretty impossible. Kelly is afraid that they're going to let their team down. As she steps up on the scale, Paul mouths, "I love you." Kelly's lips do not move in return. Oh, Paul.

Kelly goes from 240 to 240, for a loss of zero. Man alive. She starts bawling. Oh, I can't take this! Neither can Jillian, apparently, as she is sucking her thumb. The rest of the team is supportive of Kelly, but they're all just generally upset. Paul is up next, and his entire head is the color of an atomic fireball. He goes from 260 to...WHAT? He goes from 260 to 263 for a gain of three pounds. Everyone is shocked. Paul says that, because he wanted to beat the Blue Team so bad, he cut calories behind the back of his trainer, thinking that that would help him to lose more weight. Jillian says that the Black Team needs to focus on getting its food on track. That's what's been off-kilter, she says, because it's not the gym. They've all been working extremely hard. If you didn't know, not eating really fucks up your metabolism, so it can be pretty counterproductive. In any case, the Black Team's numbers are pretty abysmal. They lost 17 pounds, or 1.22%. The Blue Team of course wins, and Dan is the Biggest Loser of the Week. The Black Team is up for elimination. Maggie had the highest percentage of weight loss for her team, and is safe.

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Biggest Loser

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