Biggest Loser

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Surprise Game-Changing Twist in Last Episode Before Live Finale

We enter with Mark talking about Jay's elimination. And hey! He's not weeping! Maybe he's all cried out like Lisa Lisa. But we flash back to all the tears. I don't think we actually have time for that in a two-hour show. Mark is going to do everything he can do to make it into the final three, and take it all the way. Roger tells us that it was tough to come back from Australia without Jay, but now it's time to move on. He has his eyes on the prize. Kelly tells us how tough her journey has been. But, she says, she's made it to the end. She's the only Black Team member remaining, and doesn't want to let Jillian down. She's giving it the best that she's got, like Anita Baker. These contestants are like mid-80s R&B songs come to life! Ali, of course, was eliminated and came back. Her goal is to be the first female Biggest Loser, and show people that women can do it. Sisters are doing it for themselves! Standing on their own two feet, then doing squats and lunges and running like mad.

We get some comparisons of the contestants from day one to now as they head to meet Sami on U.S. soil. They all look damn good. Sami congratulates the final four and reminds them of the $250,000 prize up for grabs. This week, she says, which is their last week on campus, they'll be sans trainers. Ali is nervous, and says that this week she needs a trainer more than ever, to push her further than she thinks she can be pushed. Sami tells the contestants to go and unpack, and then they'll meet an old friend. Kelly is all, "Bitch, can't you let us watch some TV and take a damn nap?"

No, she can't. The players reemerge at a table, upon which are four room service plates. And then Sami brings out their old friend Rocco DiSpirito, who helped them with healthy cooking. Turns out he made each contestant his or her favorite meal from back in the fat days. Roger's fave is his mom's pepper steak, which is full of butter and cream and white rice and all sorts of bad stuff. A caption tells us that it has 1700 calories. Yikes! Roger gets to take a bite, and finds it delicious. Kelly's favorite dish is chicken alfredo with breadsticks. Oof. That's 1500 calories. Kelly declines a bite. Mark's favorite dish is ice cream. Three scoops are 810 calories. That seems like a light snack compared to the pepper steak! Mark used to set the tub of ice cream on his belly and eat out of it. Aw, that reminds me when my hamster Jaws got this big tumor on his neck and used to set his little sunflower seeds and other assorted grains there to snack upon. It may sound sad, but believe you me that a tumor tray is a better way to go than wet tail. Mark declines the ice cream as well. Ali's favorite food is prime rib. A steak with a loaded potato is 1500 calories. Of deliciousness. If you ask me, that one might be worth it on occasion.

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Biggest Loser

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