Biggest Loser

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Surprise Game-Changing Twist in Last Episode Before Live Finale

Roger is up first. Will he lose his 15 pounds and break a record? He goes from 234 to 219. No shit! He did it. That's pretty phenomenal, and it seems that it pretty much secures him a space in the final three. OR DOES IT? Roger has lost more weight on campus than anyone in Biggest Loser history -- 144 pounds. Bob can't believe that he pulled off fifteen pounds. It's 6.41%. Madness! Mark is next. He goes from 181 to 169 for a loss of 12 pounds. Holy shit! What have these guys been doing? That's freaking unreal. Bob should leave campus more often. Jillian assumes that Mark is going to be in the finale, and wonders when her girls are ever going to win. Roger is happy for Mark, and says that the two pushed each other to work harder. Mark's total percentage lost is 6.63%. It's madness! Madness, I say! Ali wonders if she's ever going to be able to compete with these guys.

And now we'll find out. Ali steps on the scale. She has to have lost more than 9 pounds to stay above the yellow line, and figures there's no way it's going to happen. Ali goes from 146 to 135. That is a loss of ELEVEN POUNDS!!!! These bitches replaced their Extra Sugar Free Gum with Ex-Lax. I mean, right? Ali can't believe it. Neither can anyone else. Jillian looks like she's about to faint. Ali has made it to the finals! She predicts that Bette-Sue is going to fall out of her chair when she sees this, and reminds us of how she told everyone that she was going to be the Biggest Loser when she was kicked off the first time around. She believed it, and still believes it. Colors of the world! Every boy and every girl! Sorry, I am just feeling the girl power right now. I love it.

Ali's total percentage lost is 7.53%, which rockets her up to first place. Oh! And it pushes Roger below the yellow line! It is crazy that he lost 15 pounds and is in danger of elimination. Bob tells us this is exactly what Jillian and the girls wanted. Oh, shut up, frat king. I have no sympathy. Although if Kelly also makes it above the yellow line and a woman wins this season, thus continuing Jillian's winning streak, I fear that in two years we'll encounter Bob 250 pounds heavier and watching Golden Girls reruns on Lifetime all day in his muumuu. Jillian interviews that Roger has been the obvious Biggest Loser from day one, and has never fallen below the line. She adds emotionally that she's waited five years to see a woman win the show. And I mean, it hasn't happened yet so suck those tears of joy back in the sockets. Ali has lost 99 pounds total, which is the most any woman has ever lost on the campus. But...the bulk of that weight was at home. I mean, right? Only Ali gets to take credit for Ali, really.

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Biggest Loser

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