Biggest Loser

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Surprise Game-Changing Twist in Last Episode Before Live Finale

Finally, Kelly weighs in. Roger figures that he has a target on his back, and has accepted the fact that he's most likely going home. Kelly has to lose more than 12 pounds to be safe. She doesn't look too hopeful. Kelly goes from 191 to -- wait for it -- 178 pounds, for a loss of THIRTEEN, BITCHES!!!!! Kelly starts crying as Ali laughs maniacally and Jillian tells the devil that he can take her soul since he's kept up his end of the bargain. I mean, right? This is total craziness! Jillian picks up Ali and carries her a few feet forward as Mark and Roger resignedly shake hands. With a tear in her eye, because she is secretly all about the girl power, too, even though she is supposed to be impartial, Sami tells Kelly that she has secured a spot in the finals. Kelly is so happy. I LOVE IT! I am infused with the power of womankind! Bob, meanwhile, is all, "Where do you think I can buy a Charlie Brown shirt?" Wah wah wah. Kelly has lost 6.81% of her weight, and 93 pounds since she came to campus.

So, Roger assumes that he's going home, and tells us he's at peace with it. Kelly tells us that she and Ali have done the unbelievable. They put two boys below the yellow line three weeks in a row, and are ready to get rid of Roger. He's the biggest threat, says Ali, because he has the most weight to lose. Oh, but wait a second. Sami has one more surprise for the group. Tonight, she says, this elimination is not going to be their decision. The Biggest Loser is a worldwide phenomenon, and millions of Americans have been inspired by their stories. So now, America is going to decide who the third and final player competing for the $250,000 is. There is stunned silence. Ali is pissed. Roger, however, is happy to be still alive. Mark hopes that his last-ditch effort to be likeable has worked. Jillian just shakes her head, smiles ruefully, and crosses her arms. Sami tells Mark and Roger that they each have a chance to go to the confessional, and plead their case before America. Meanwhile, everyone will pack and say goodbye to the scale and the trainers and head home to get even skinnier.

We get Roger's confessional first. He greets us animatedly and tells us that our future is his hands. He would love to go to the finals. He's had a great time and is thankful for every week he's been there. He'd love to have our vote. WELL YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT. I mean, seriously. I think that if this female voting block we keep hearing about ever needed to come out and support a cause, it's now. Things aren't looking that great for Hillary, you know. We need a check in the "W" column. Mark pleads his case next. He tells us what a great place the campus is, and how he tried to take the best advantage of it that he could. And! While on campus, he realized that he didn't have to internalize his feelings. He cried. A lot. And will probably continue to cry out the pain and suffering of the past seven years. He tells us he did this for himself, but also his wife Erika, daughter Madison, and son Brady. Don't let the fact that his kids have stupid names sway you back to Roger. We go back and forth between Roger and Mark for a bit. Mark is serious, Roger is kind of a goon. And now it's all in our hands! The power! The power!

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Biggest Loser

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