Biggest Loser
Surprise Getaway

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Surprise Getaway

We begin with last week's cliffhanger, as Sami tells the contestants that the Biggest Loser Campus is shutting down for a week...because everyone is going to Jamaica! Man, are these bastards going to sweat. They're heading to the all-inclusive Grand Lido Resort and Spa. Julie says that she'd rather chew her arm off bite by bite than wear a bathing suit. And has, by the looks of it. Sami tells the contestants that this isn't a vacation -- they'll still be training. Isabeau is excited, yet scared that Jillian will be there, because all the ganja will probably really spark some extra creativity in the torturous workout techniques that are her trademark. Plus, munchies. Jez jokes that this is going to be a very heavy plane, and at least they can use each other as flotation devices if something goes down. By this logic, the next time you have to sit next to a larger person on a plane, you should be really grateful.

The contestants arrive in Jamaica, and Sami tells them that they've worked really hard, and so are going to have a week of fun in the sun. Jillian is pissed: she says that they are not on a vacation. Her one job, she says, is to make sure her team gets through this process without anyone slipping through her fingers, and that Jamaica makes that a little harder to do. Bob says that one of the main reasons they're there is so they can start learning to go into the outside world and make the right choices. Sami asks Kim where Bryan is, and Kim says that he was having some chest pains, so she sent him to the doctor. She admits to us that she's freaking out a little bit. Cut to Bryan at the ER. He tells the doctor that his chest started hurting during his workout. Bryan then interviews that he has a wife who loves him, and that he loves her, and he wants to be in shape. He gets a CAT scan and undertakes a lot of tests. He really has formidable man-boobs.

Neil tells us that he was worried as soon as he stepped off the plane, because normally, on vacation, he would eat and drink without limit. Which, isn't that the definition of vacation? Julie knew that there would be lots of all-inclusive buffets, and was also nervous, since she's obviously made bad food choices in the past. Jillian steers her team toward the white meat jerk chicken and says that they can take a small piece of pork, but tells them to avoid the fish in the coconut oil. But that's the most delicious-looking thing! Julie sees the upside of things, which is that these are the kinds of decisions they'll all have to make when they get home. Jillian is a total buzzkill, and has to point out everything that is swimming in oil. I always take the stance that oil is good for you because it lubricates your joints. Granted, I am not a medical doctor or nutritionist. But I stand by my theory.

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