Biggest Loser

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Angel Cohn: A+ | Grade It Now!
Take It to the Limit

Previously: This season's twists royally screwed all the pairs over and basically made the title Biggest Loser: Couples title pretty much null and void.

Everyone's in shock. Jerry doesn't look well. Maybe they made the wrong decision. And the people that stuck around seem optimistic that their partners from home will be just fine and do it at home (unlikely, since that hasn't worked so far, and that's why they got here in the first place) and that they will work their asses off to get their partners back in a month. They do this annoying nine way split screen that shows everyone talking all at once, and it gives me a headache.

Thankfully, its nighttime at the ranch, and they turn out the lights one by one. Then we're wooshed off to Brooklyn, NY where we see Red Team's Nicole talking about how much she's going to miss her husband. Before I can blink we're off to Detroit, where the Pink Team's flour-throwing daughter said it was her choice to go home. Then to Miami where we see former model (though I'm seriously questioning the use of the word model) Laura. "I can prove myself. Blah, blah, blah." The rest of the teams don't merit map-whooshing. Instead we just see them being welcomed home by their aghast family members. They are explaining this insanely stupid new twist. Family members around the country look confused. Then we get to see the contestants starting their workout regiment. Thankfully there doesn't seem to be any parallel bar madness. Some of them enlist the help of trainers. Silver team's Carla reiterates her sentiment that she left Joelle there to prove that Joelle could bring her back. I don't know about Joelle, but I'm a bit scared of Carla. Orange team's David orders water and French fries, his first minute home. And then two hot dogs, to wash it all down. Jerry's wife wisely tackles the kitchen and throws everything out.

We then pan out on the map and see the entire world, before zooming back in on the ranch. The contestants are instructed by Sami to stand on a white chalk line. Today, they are facing a difficult decision. They are shown a big fancy limo. She reminds them that they need to believe they can be here. It's temptation time. Filipe is looking for a bucket of chicken. But Sami's got high stakes this time: They can get a chunk of the $250,000 prize, but they have to step over the line and out of the game forever, and what they do affects their partner (there or at home), too. First person over gets five grand. That's really not so much. Most of the people step back. Filipe's plan for the five grand would be four grand on fried chicken and one grand on cable, so he can watch the show. That's a solid investment right there. That said, he doesn't step over. Sami ups the ante to ten grand. That's a lot of fried chicken. Joelle is tempted. She's a grown-ass woman who is ashamed to admit that she still lives at home with her mama. She should be less afraid of what people will think of her and more afraid of what Carla would DO to her. Did you know that you can get a house in Michigan for five grand? I think I live in the wrong part of the country. Still, she doesn't do it. But then Sami says her final offer is $25,000. That's more than Joelle makes in a couple years. Does it afford you a trip to witness protection? Because that's what she's gonna need.

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Biggest Loser




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