Biggest Loser

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: B+ | Grade It Now!
Let's Get Physical

Ed buzzes in, gets the first question wrong and gets an additional 25% of his body weight added. Heba gets the next one. She adds weight to Coleen's bucket. Ed has sweaty hands. Coleen gets the next one correct, she pays back Heba by adding the extra water to Ed's bucket. Smart. Ed wobbles. Coleen giggles. Kinda mean for her. Surprising.

Ed's bucket spills. The only man is now out. Coleen gets a question about diabetes wrong. She gets more pounds in her barrel. Amy gets the next one right and doles out the pounds to Vicky. Ha! This only increases Vicky's suspicions that Amy's aligned with the Black Team. Renee gets one wrong. Out of the blue, Amy's bucket spills over. Coleen's is teetering, and then goes. Heba gets one wrong, and Vicky lets go. Which makes Amy really happy. Heba knows about Olivia Newton-John, so she gets a question right and adds to Renee's burden. Heba's bucket starts tipping and then goes. My husband calls this "the grossest wet T-shirt contest ever." He's not wrong. Michelle and Renee start wheeling and dealing. Michelle will buy Renee the purse of her choice if she gives up. Michelle wins, because Renee's not stupid. I hope she dreams big and asks for a Louis!

The announcer is promising a weigh-in that has to be seen to be believed. We aren't even at the half-way mark yet. Bob takes Heba and Vicky out for a walk, and they are still being forced to wear '80s clothes. Bob (who is hysterically wearing a Frankie Says Relax tee) basically tells Vicky she needs to fucking get over herself. Bob says Blue needs to get it together in order to win. Vicky says Amy never said that she made a mistake. Well, that's because she didn't. Bob wants her to be the bigger person and deal with it. Bitchface says there is no way that she's going to trust her again, no matter what Bob says.

Jillian's giving her team their last-chance workout. She wants them all to be above the line. There's lots of grunting and sweating in what Coleen calls the "spin class from hell." She takes the seats off their bikes. Awesome. She makes them cry. I love Jillian. I want her to come work me out, but she'd probably yell at me for the two chocolate chip cookies I just ate, and the elliptical machine that is sitting neglected as I type this weecap. Now Michelle's crying again, not because she's in pain, but because of emotional issues or whatever. Again? Really? How many times have we heard the Michelle story this season? I can't anymore. Then Jillian gives green tips. Don't use paper plates. Okay?

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Biggest Loser




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