Previously on The Biggest Loser: The Biggest Loser changed lives! It did so by "attacking the fat that's taking over America." Beware that can of Crisco, man. It will cut you in your sleep.
Have I mentioned how hot Jillian looks in the intro doing a one-armed push-up? I think that the show should have a contest, and the winner gets to play airplane with Jillian all afternoon. Whee!
This week begins with Sami Brady talking to all the contestants. Isabeau tells us that the Black Team was left to rot from day one, and they're there to prove their worth. I don't know if "left to rot" is exactly accurate, but I guess they have to do what they can to motivate. Sami tells Bill that with his thirty-three-pound total loss, he lost 115,000 calories, and asks if he knows how much that is. He talks about the amount of food that he used to eat, and Sami segues into telling the contestants that in the real world, there is temptation. And so, to simulate this experience, the show has set up a room full of a lot of delicious-looking food. Each contestant has to spend four minutes in the room, and the person who consumes the most calories gets a three-pound pass at the next weigh-in. Hey, that's mean! Sami tells the contestants that no one on their team has to know how much they ate. We will soon find out that this isn't true, so in addition to trying to sabotage the contestants, the show is actually lying to them, too. Be nice to the fatties! God.
Bryan is the first to go. He tells us that he was conflicted about what to do. We see him looking at tables with brownies, Twinkies, and cookies, but he is especially tempted by a big-ass plate of hot wings. He gazes upon them like a lost love, and maybe wants to rub them all over his naked body. But in the end, he decides that he's good. He says it's easy to get swept into the game play, but they're all there to lose weight, and the only way to do that is to eat well and exercise. Go, Bryan! Kae is more of a sweets person, and takes a big whiff of the brownies. But she also avoids temptation. Not so Jez, who heads right for a big piece of pepperoni pizza! No! But at the same time...mmm, salty pork products. Either Bill or his twin brother does jumping jacks to avoid temptations. Phil says he wants the three pounds, but there's a price. He tells us that he probably normally ate all that food in the course of a month, and is kind of grossed out by that. Julie says that pizza was like a long-lost friend that she wanted to hug. She gives the plate of pizza a big sniff instead. She takes a long glance at the cupcakes, and in the end just puts a piece of frosting on her lip to fool the others. The cupcakes might wear me down, I have to admit.
Neil tells us that he wanted the three pounds for his team, and so was willing to make the huge sacrifice of eating tons of delicious food. I wish I had a Team to use as excuse every time I make the walk of shame to the vending machine at work. Neil starts chowing down, saying that since he's the fattest, it'll be easier for him to take it. He eats everything in sight, and even downs a little bowl of M&Ms like a shot. He thinks he ate about 1700 calories. In four minutes! Holy crow. This was apparently the team's plan, which is kind of fucked up if you ask me. Patty tells us that when Neil came back, she looked at his face and she thought he didn't eat, and so she decided that she should chow down, too. She eats an egg roll and seems very happy about it indeed. She then goes for an éclair and an apple pie. Personally, I think Patty is full of shit and was just really, really hungry.