Biggest Loser
The Secret Black Team Is Revealed!

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The Secret Black Team Is Revealed!

Previously on The Biggest Loser: Fatties. Jillian. What else do you need to know?

It is a lovely day in the desert, and also seven days until the Black Team's arrival on campus. Jillian wants to be able to go into the house and compete, and is taking the week to get her team ready. They do some weighing. In the desert. Where scales grow like cacti. Isabeau was 298 to start with, and is now 290. Julie was 218 to start and is now 216. WTF? Everyone else lost like 20 pounds! Julie tells us that three years ago, she and her husband wanted to have another child, and she was diagnosed with a polycystic ovary, and the best treatment for that is to lose weight. With every pound she gains, it will be harder to get pregnant. Oh, fine, be happy about your two pounds then. And while I'm thinking of it, wouldn't Polly Cystic be a great name for a performance artist or punk singer? For her part, Jillian is really nice about Julie's meager weight loss. Hollie goes from 255 to 244. Go, Hollie! Jez was 345 and is down to 329. 16 pounds! Everyone is impressed. Jez wants to be healthy for once in his life, and make a complete change. This will lead to self-confidence outside and inside, he says. Jez seems like a great guy. Jim was 361 and is now 350. His twin Bill started at 334 and is now 313 -- 21 pounds! Well done, skinny twin! Bill wants to kick the plus-sized asses of the Red and Blue Teams.

Meanwhile, back at the campus, Kim addresses her team, who had to boot off Amber. They act sad, but I don't really think they are. Amber was kind of a dink. Phil tells us he wants to work as a firefighter, but he can't pass some of their tests, due to his weight. Amy misses her kids, but she knows her weight is endangering herself. Her father died at 46 of diabetes, and her mother is very overweight with diabetes also. I wonder if they also have the chronic cases of wussiness and backstabbing that she exhibits later in the episode.

Bob says he is making sure he's doing everything he can do to win the first two weigh-ins. Kae, formerly of the military, wants to be strong and soldierly again. But even better! She says it's time to stop delaying and just do it. That's good advice, which I'm sure has not seeped into her brain at all from years of incessant advertising on the part of a certain shoe company. The Blue Team takes a long hike, and Neil complains that his knees are hurting. Bob tells him not to push past his limits, and to turn around if he needs to. Bill refuses, and Bob seems happy that he's willing to push himself. The Blue Team takes in an incredible mountain view. Patty starts talking about losing weight for her family and starts bawling. She is a crier for sure. She cries as the team hikes back. Maybe she's hoping she can float down the hill on her river of tears.

Meanwhile, hiking is fine for the wussy Blue team, but Jillian's Black Team has to jog with logs. Log jog! The team members are united, because they want to prove that they're worthy of being in the competition. Jillian tells us that her training methods are aggressive mentally and physically, but the best warriors are forged in fire. She looks really good when she says "warriors." Now that the team has done all kinds of crazy shit for hours on end in ninety-six-degree heat, putting in some hours on the elliptical in an air-conditioned gym is going to be cake, she tells us. But not literal cake, of course. Is it wrong that I want to lick the sweat off of her buff shoulders?

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Biggest Loser

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