In Cleveland we meet Lynn, 60, who is a dead ringer for Archie Bunker, and his daughter, Jenni, 31. They call themselves "Team Big Dog." Lynn says he's going to be proud of Jenni, and Jenni says she wants to bond with her dad and have him be proud of her. Oh, these two have some ISSUES, man. In Chicago we meet mother/son team Jackie, 50, and Dan, 21. Jackie tells us that Dan grew up playing video games and eating fast food, and the worst part of that is that she was the one who drove him to Mickey D's. Dan, who looks a little like Chastity Bono mixed with a shot of Bruce Vilanch, tells us that he's a statistic. Now, however, he's ready to take control of his life. I think Dan is going to be the secret hottie when he loses all the poundage. In a town that can't be named for security purposes, I guess, we meet brothers Mark, 35, and Jay, 31. Jay tells us that they're both successful in terms of career and family, but not with losing weight and being healthy. Jay has two young kids, and he's ready to set a good example for them. These two possibly live in a mansion on top of a mountain. The hell?

Next we meet former teammates Roger, 40, and Trent, 39. They both played football for the University of Alabama. They've been through hell on the football field, working and training together, and Trent doesn't think any other contestants will be able to relate on that level. These two are like the Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney of The Biggest Loser contestants, and seem like they could totally kill it, for sure.

The contestants spout off some fighting words and march across a lawn where they find host Alison Sweeney-Todd, who at the very least patronizes the demon barber of Fleet Street. That would actually be Bette-Sue. Alison tells them that before they get started, she has one more team to introduce them to. They don't have the tight bond of the other teams, because they've never met before! They were selected from The Biggest Loser online club. Oooh, this could be disastrous! I can't wait. Brittany, a 22-year-old hairstylist who is already a total hottie, comes running out first, followed by 27-year-old Bernie, a teacher/graduate student who says he eats the heck out of the dollar menu. Oooh, this could be a possible romance! There are certain fetishists out there who are quite pleased right now. Brittany thinks that she and Bernie have an advantage, because they don't have any of the baggage of the other teams. Oh, but they will, particularly when their relationship goes sour because Bernie never takes Brittany anywhere nice.