Mark and Jay are first to cross the finish line, and go straight to Jillian, whom Jay says will push them more than anyone else could. Brittany and Bernie are next and go to Bob, who Brittany thinks will be able to help her with her emotional issues. He is like a psycholoyogotrainer. Curtis takes a huge fall, but he and Mallory eventually make it to Jillian. Also heading to Jillian's side are Roger and Trent. Roger notes that this might be the last time she's so encouraging, and will likely be cussing them out before too long. I will wait in anticipation. Dan and Jackie are next in, and go to Bob. Neill and Amanda, also fans of getting their asses kicked, head to Jillian. Meanwhile, Bette-Sue and Ali finally make it up the hill. Oh, man. Maggie and Jenn cross the finish line to Jillian, which means that Jillian has her five teams. Poor Bob only has two. He is a little offended and wonders if the teams don't think he's tough enough. Bob's remaining teams by default are Paul and Kelly, Lynn and Jenni, and, at long last, Bette-Sue and Ali. When she sees that Jillian is full up, Ali is pissed. Oh, but Bob is awesome. It's really a win/win. Bette-Sue starts weeping about being embarrassed and being a burden to her daughter. Perhaps it's a blessing that they got psycholoyogotrainer Bob, after all.

Bob and Jillian hand out shirts to their teams. But surprise! Each duo gets a different color. Turns out there will be no larger teams -- the teams of two, though they'll have trainers in common, are playing only for themselves. As twosomes. You know what I mean, right? As it's time to train, Lynn falls asleep. Oh, Grandpa. I imagine if someone jostles him awake he'll just yell, "Meathead!"

It's time for the initial weigh-in! Alison Sweeney-Todd makes a big to-do about the scale, which is actually just a contraption that actually has TWO scales. Oooh, revolutionary! The team members will get on the scale at the same time, and their combined weight loss will determine if they stay or go. The teams are as such:
--Purple: Maggie, 239; Jenn, 254. Combined total: 493 pounds.
--Black: Mark, 285; Jay, 293. Combined total: 578 pounds.
--Brown: Curtis, 281; Mallory, 217. Combined total: 598 pounds.
--Pink: Bette-Sue, 261; Ali, 234. Combined total: 495 pounds.
--Orange: Jackie, 246; Dan, 310. Combined total: 556 pounds.
--Green: Lynn, 409; Jenni, 267. Combined total: 676 pounds.
--Beige: Neill, 317; Amanda, 204. Combined total: 521 pounds.
--Blue: Bernie, 283; Brittany, 221. Combined total: 504 pounds.
--Yellow: Paul, 303; Kelly, 271. Combined total: 574 pounds.
--Gray: Roger, 363; Trent, 436. Combined total: 799 pounds (!!!!!)