And then, it's time for the weigh-in! Alison Sweeney-Todd actually looks really nice. Her hair is less straw-like, and her outfit is sparkly yet tasteful. Bob and Jillian are there to watch the proceedings. Sami reminds us that the combined percentage of weight loss will determine who stays and who goes. The two teams who lose least will fall below the yellow line, and the other teams will determine which of them goes home. Oooh! And then it's time to exploit the emotional baggage. Sami notes that Paul and Kelly are in a unique situation, and asks if they worked this hard together when they were married. Paul says that they did, but one of them gave up. OH, SHIT! That was so wrong. Kelly totally starts crying. Sami asks Kelly why she's crying, and Kelly tells her that they had agreed not to say anything to hurt each other. Paul feels like a total asshole, as he should. Way to blow your chances for reconciliation, Mr. Clean. Kelly says that she's the one who left the marriage, but she's not giving up here. The other women all kind of roll their eyes at Paul. And so do I. Try to keep your business to yourself for, like, ONE episode, you jerk.

Sami adds a new twist: after tonight's weigh-in, the teams won't have the normal 24-hour period to decide whom to vote off. Rather, they'll have one hour. The elimination is happening tonight! They should just have a bunch of poisonous snakes drop from the ceiling right now, to continue with the trend of stressing everyone out.

Kelly and Paul weigh in first. Kelly goes from 271 to 258 (13 pounds), and Paul goes from 303 to 286 (17 pounds). That's a combined loss of 30 pounds, or 5.23%. Everyone is impressed. Kelly really looks and sounds like Chastity Bono, too. Maybe all blonde fat people do, when you stop to think about it. Mark and Jay are next. Mark goes from 285 to 268 (17 pounds) and Jay goes from 293 to 280 (13 pounds). Their total loss is also 30 pounds. But! They won the challenge and get to add two pounds. This is 32 pounds, or 5.54%. Then we have Mallory and Curtis. Mallory goes from 217 to 203 (14 pounds) and Curtis goes from 381 to 359 (22 pounds). They've lost 36 pounds, or 6.02%. This puts them in first place. Mallory hilariously says that she wanted to jump up and down when she saw her loss, but didn't want to break the scale.