Bob and Jillian hand out shirts to their teams. But surprise! Each duo gets a different color. Turns out there will be no larger teams -- the teams of two, though they'll have trainers in common, are playing only for themselves. As twosomes. You know what I mean, right? As it's time to train, Lynn falls asleep. Oh, Grandpa. I imagine if someone jostles him awake he'll just yell, "Meathead!"
It's time for the initial weigh-in! Alison Sweeney-Todd makes a big to-do about the scale, which is actually just a contraption that actually has TWO scales. Oooh, revolutionary! The team members will get on the scale at the same time, and their combined weight loss will determine if they stay or go. The teams are as such:
--Purple: Maggie, 239; Jenn, 254. Combined total: 493 pounds.
--Black: Mark, 285; Jay, 293. Combined total: 578 pounds.
--Brown: Curtis, 281; Mallory, 217. Combined total: 598 pounds.
--Pink: Bette-Sue, 261; Ali, 234. Combined total: 495 pounds.
--Orange: Jackie, 246; Dan, 310. Combined total: 556 pounds.
--Green: Lynn, 409; Jenni, 267. Combined total: 676 pounds.
--Beige: Neill, 317; Amanda, 204. Combined total: 521 pounds.
--Blue: Bernie, 283; Brittany, 221. Combined total: 504 pounds.
--Yellow: Paul, 303; Kelly, 271. Combined total: 574 pounds.
--Gray: Roger, 363; Trent, 436. Combined total: 799 pounds (!!!!!)
Roger and Trent are the heaviest team, and Trent is equal to the heaviest player ever on the show. Everyone is super-depressed, but Alison gives them a little pep talk, saying that they'll soon see the pounds melt away. If I were them, this would probably make me want a bacon double cheeseburger melt. Way to go, Ali.
It's gym time! Jillian interviews that she doesn't like this team business. It means that the contestants have brought their enablers with them, and will also get in the way of her establishing relationships with them. She thinks this element will make it harder. Her trainees go to the gym. It's not as exciting as when she was making people, like, push boulders around in the desert. Still, everyone pretty much looks like they want to die, which lets us know that everything is as it should be. Jillian tells us that Amanda was awesome, and basically did everything she asked without complaint. Neill, however, was "thisclose" to having a low-cal knuckle sandwich for lunch. How hot would it be to see Jillian deck someone? I mean, it would be the hottest if that person were Kim, but I'll take Neill. Amanda tells us that Neill has a tendency to give up. We see him fall and slide off the treadmill while it's still running. Jillian screams at him to get up, like, a LOT of times. Loudly. Neill tells us that Amanda wanted Jillian but he wanted Bob. That's because Neill is a pussy. Buck up, sonny, and lose that extra "L" along with the bad attitude.