Biggest Loser
Viewers Choose The Challenge

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Viewers Choose The Challenge

We begin with the contestants talking about how close they are to their goals, and how the title is in sight. Nicole says that Kae was sort of a cushion for her, because Kae was such a big threat. She was less cushiony than some other folks Nicole could name, but point taken. We get a flashback of Neil's greatest "I'm the biggest threat and I welcome it" hits, and he tells us that if people don't agree with him, that's fine, but they'll have to prove him wrong. I'll up him one and prove he's an ass, if that helps.

The contestants walk into the gym to meet Alison. She tells them that the fate of everyone in the room rests in the hands...of America. And we are a bunch of bitches, so this spells doom. Fans could apparently log onto the Biggest Loser website and vote for their favorite challenge. We see clips of the eligible past challenges that people could vote for, including the U.S. Bank climb, featuring seventy-four flights of stairs, in which some whiny lady got sent off in an ambulance. Wah, wah, my heart, etc. Toughen up! The second choice is the neverending jump rope, in which contestants were eliminated when they couldn't jump high enough. Julie is not so excited about the jumping. I think that one looks pretty boring, unless they figure out a way to throw in some double dutch. The third possible challenge would see the contestants hanging onto poles above a pool. Two contestants in the past hung on for over an hour, before one of them slid down the pole face first. The fourth possibility is the endless escalator challenge. Ooh, that one looks like it hurts. ["I used to do that machine at the gym. It is so much worse than a Stairmaster." -- Wing Chun] All of the contestants, except Bill, are shitting bricks. The contestants have a few days to get ready before finding out which challenge they'll face. To the practice pole!

Oh, and have you heard? Bryan is the Red Team's last hope. Kim is going to get him to focus like he's never focused before. Bob interviews that it's stressful in the house, and that he's in a situation where he's not sleeping at night because he's thinking about the safety of his two people. Nicole lifts some serious dumbbells, while Neil -- a serious dumbbell in his own right -- endures Bob standing on him. How does that keep you fit? Maybe Bob is smushing the fat with his feet in hopes of making wine? New Age enthusiast that he is, Bob has his team meditate regularly, and says that rest is a weapon. Isn't that a title of the Pat Benatar song? Nicole thinks that if they get the pole challenge, they might have an edge, because Bob has taught them how to relax. On a pole? Yeah, I didn't think so. Jillian, meanwhile, works Bill in some serious ways. She tells us that she doesn't have any tricks up her sleeve since Amy has been voted off, so she's just going to beat the crap out of her team. They're getting more fit now, and with that comes more creative beatings. She says it's like Cirque du Soleil in there. I didn't know the wheelbarrow move was such a staple of the Cirque. Throw in Céline Dion singing "It's All Coming Back to Me Now," and we've truly reached the pinnacle of entertainment.

So, apparently Bryan is still having trouble with nutrition. Kim says she's never in her life had someone with so many challenges with food. Apparently, Bryan doesn't like vegetables, and his gag reflex is incredible. She must have heard that last bit of info via Bob. Kim wants Bryan to tell her about everything he's eating. He goes through his breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and notes that in addition to spice use, he sometimes uses soy sauce as a marinade. Kim can't believe it, and says that even low-sodium soy sauce can pose a problem, because sodium makes you retain water. Kim makes a big point of throwing Bryan's soy sauce in the garbage, apparently with the lid off, as it gets everywhere. Bryan says he can live without soy sauce, and they make a no soy sauce pinky pact.

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Biggest Loser

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