Biggest Loser
Viewers Choose The Challenge

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Viewers Choose The Challenge

The contestants meet up with Alison to learn their fate. America has spoken, and chose poles over water as their favorite challenge. Pole hanging is like the apple pie of cruel and humiliating fitness challenges! Basically, the contestants just have to hang on the poles as long as they can. Now, if the poles were slathered with Crisco, that would be a challenge worth watching. Sami introduces Andre Agassi, via video. He's apparently a big fan of the show (or else a shameless shiller of some product or other), and congratulates the contestants. Andre announces that the winner of this competition will get an all-inclusive vacation with their families at Tamarack Resort, in Idaho. Coincidentally, this is the first resort development from Andre and his wife, nasally well-endowed tennis champion Steffi Graf. Nice prize, despite the shameless shilling.

The contestants hang. There's a tiny ledge on the bottom of each pole where they can rest the edges of their feet. It looks hard. Isabeau starts shaking after only about a minute, and is out. She sucks. Neil, also full of the suckage, follows suit. Then Nicole goes down. So much for the yoga. Bryan struggles, but Sami's taunts keep him alive for a minute before he slips. Hollie goes soon afterward, which leaves Julie and Bill. They are like rocks up there. Well, rocks with koala bear-style arms.

BL Factoid: 75% of Americans will be overweight in the year 2015. Egad!

Julie interviews that she was mad to hear that Bill was still up there next to her, and figured she'd have to hold onto the pole all night long. That's what she said. Bam! Bill starts talking to Julie, but she doesn't take the bait and just ignores him. The other contestants heckle Bill, but he seems pretty secure and even readjusts himself, and I don't mean nutally. Though I'm sure that with his junk up against that pole he's tempted. Julie eventually caves and falls, and Bill wins the week at Tamarack. Nobody seems happy for him, but no matter: he's happy for himself and his kids. Julie tries to drown him in the pool. But in a fun way. Except she means it. Violence masked with mirth is truly the best kind. Hollie tells us that she thinks she speaks for everyone when she says she's over Bill winning. Isabeau adds that he's not even fat anymore. Jerk!

Meanwhile, the contestants are excited to be in the pool and do a little swimming. F'ing Nicole dives in the no diving shallow end, and totally chips her teeth. Neil hilariously asks if they're going to look for her tooth. And they all actually do! She seems kind of nonchalant about the whole thing, even though the others agree that the chip is pretty gruesome. Bryan even says you could kick a field goal through that thing. I might note that this is the second show I've recapped this season in which a contestant has lost part of a tooth at the bottom of a pool. I am never swimming again. At least not with my mouth open. Bob finds out from Neil that Nicole chipped both of her front teeth, and also learns that Nicole is at the dentist. He interviews that losing one day of workouts can be deadly. He doesn't want to lose Nicole, but can't resist noting that Nicole looks like some of his relatives in Tennessee. Bob has a Cousin Shelley!

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Biggest Loser

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