Biggest Loser
We're Back…and So Is Jillian

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Everything New Is Old Again

Then there's Lindsay, who is a gymnastics enthusiast. She was a cheerleader for two years and always dreamed of being the one at the top of the pyramid, but decided not to return to it because she felt that the other girls laughed at her because of her weight. And damn it if this show isn't going to make me cry like 1,000 times this season. Curses. We then cut to Sunny, who is in the 11th grade and taking three AP classes. She turns to food when she gets stressed, which must be constantly given her course load and the general shittiness of being in high school. Sunny says that no one wants to talk about teenage obesity, but it's time to go there and help the whole nation get healthier.

Sami explains to our three youth ambassadors (as well as a concerned audience that doesn't want to see these kids have to strategically decide whether to eat a room full of Ring Dings to get immunity) that they will visit the Biggest Loser ranch during the season, but will spend most of their time working at home. The trainers will, however, check in on them weekly. And, thank goodness, they can't be eliminated. Bingo is like, "Bingo!"

And then it's time for the trainer introductions! First there's Bob, who is obviously a crowd favorite. He comes out in his glasses, shakes the hands of the kids, and gets a standing ovation from the audience. I think he got more tats during the season-long hiatus. Ad then there's Dolvett, who managed to get more biceps during the season-long hiatus. And more bicuspids. He gets a big cheer too. But the audience really saves it for the re-introduction of "the mother of all weight loss," Jillian Michaels! She doesn't come out modestly from backstage like Bob and Dolvett, but rather emerges from the back of the auditorium so she can hug audience members en route. I feel like she should have been walking on a treadmill carried by past contestants. She's wearing heels and tight jeans, and straddles Bob as a greeting. Aw, those two! Jillian tells Sami that she has two kids now, and I guess has to make more money than she was getting for The Doctors or whatever to put them through college. She reminds us that she struggled with obesity as a kid, and is excited to see how the youth ambassadors blossom. Each trainer will work with one of the youth ambassadors. Bob is paired with Noah/Bingo; Dolvett is paired with a very lucky Lindsay whose hormones should give her an edge motivationally; and Jillian is paired with Sunny, who hopefully likes being screamed at.

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Biggest Loser

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