Biggest Loser
Where Are They Now?

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Thanksgiving Leftovers

Next, we catch up with season seven father and son duo, Mike and Ron. If you'll recall, Mike had a sibling at home, Max, who was also quite obese. Ron, whose current total weight loss is 174 pounds, says that getting Max on board has been their biggest mission. Max was seventeen years old, and over 400 pounds. Also, he was super, super heartbreaking. And now, Max is 18 and weighs 270 pounds -- that's 160 pounds total lost! Ooh, this makes me so happy. Max says that he has a new lease on life, and actually has a smile on his face. He's well on his way to becoming a hottie like his brother. Ron is very proud. They have a new business too -- the Morelli Health and Fitness Camp. It was Ron's brainchild, and he says that he wants to help kids who were in the same boat as he and Mike and Max were. We talk to Sam, one of the campers, who is now adorably into exercise. Ron gives Bob credit for his success, for pushing him farther than he thought he could go, but never so far that he couldn't do it. Bob saves lives!

And speaking of Bob, he and Jillian are on hand to talk about their favorite moments. Jillian's was Ali's win as the first female Biggest Loser. That was, indeed, a good one. Bob's favorite moment was season four's Patty on the bike, straining to tell him that she's worth it. So subtle! So Bob.

And then it's time to check in with everyone's favorite season five at-home winner, Bernie. He's getting married! Bernie's bride's name is Jennifer, and he met her when he was trying out for the show. Get out! Jennifer was not selected to be on The Biggest Loser, but her cousin Brittany was. NO! ZOMG! If you'll recall, Brittany and Bernie were stranger teammates who then became adorable friends. Now, two years later, Bernie is marrying Brittany's cousin. Both Bernie and Brittany look great and really, really happy. Bernie now weighs in at 173, a far cry from his 283 pounds when he started the show. Good for him! Man, something about these stupid Where Are They Now shows occasionally wipes all the cynicism right out of me.

Remember Amanda? We, America, voted her in during season eight. She's wanted to go skydiving her entire life, but once was too big to pass the weight limitations. Now, she's light enough, though I think she's wearing 70 pounds of makeup. Amanda skydives, and the parachute opens, and it's a victory. Her current total weight loss is 70 pounds, before makeup.

And then there's Hollie from season four. Her time on the ranch sparked a desire to change her life entirely. Not only is she Toni Collette's doppelganger, she's part of the Biggest Loser crew! She's worked her way up the ladder, and now gets to interview contestants and the like. She says that watching the contestants every day is constant motivation to stay healthy. Hollie can also convey the message to contestants that making a permanent change is do-able. Hollie still gets choked up thinking about her experience, and considers herself to have a blessed life. The Biggest Loser helped her to get her health back, and showed her that it's never too late to change.

Meanwhile, season eight winner Danny wants us to make mashed cauliflower for Thanksgiving. Aren't our Thanksgiving dinner farts bad enough already?

Oh, and then we check in with Dr. Huizenga. Death, obesity, death, fat, breathing tube obstruction, heart disease, fatty muscles, fat, death, fat. Don't get gastric bypass surgery. Dr. H. says that there are professionals behind the scene similar to those on hand for professional football players. Not only are they anticipating problems, he says, but they have the resources and problems to treat it on the spot in a timely fashion. That's why they can take care of really sick patients with a great success rate. Dr. H. thinks that The Biggest Loser deserves a Nobel Peace Prize, and tries to convince us that all their screaming at people is in the name of research. He sneers and looks down at us for sneering and looking down at reality TV. Like a circle in a circle, like a wheel within a wheel.

Oh, but we're not done yet! A lot of people have maybe been about to die on this show, but none so dramatically and seriously as season seven Tracey, who had to be rushed by helicopter to the hospital. Then, Dr. H. started to shit himself. And in that moment of pants shitting, he vowed to stick with Tracey for as long as it took to ensure 1) her good health; 2) that the show didn't get sued. Now, Dr. H. is in Texas to pay Tracey a visit. Oh, vile season eight Tracey! She was so terrible. Tracey is now at 140 pounds, down from 250. She looks pretty great, and not nearly as evil as before. Tracey spent a lot of time with Dr. H., and says that he saved her life. The two of them take a trip down memory lane -- Tracey falling down on the beach and not getting up, her eyes rolling back into her head, the small seizure that accompanied the event. That incident has been a motivating force for Tracey, who says that she was only 37 years old and almost gone. BECAUSE THIS FREAKING SHOW HAD HER COMPETE IN A MILE RACE ON HER FIRST DAY. I mean, God. Dr. H. tells Tracey that she had a special type of fat deposition called lypoedema, where there was fat everywhere in her body, and she couldn't transfer heat. Seven months later, that's all gone. Tracey says that she's a much different person today, and that losing weight makes you open your eyes really big. I think she means that she's no longer such a crazy bag. Dr. H. says that one of his greatest professional victories is taking somebody who was unable to run three-quarters of a mile without collapsing, and transforming them into a competitive athlete. Tracey runs the Boston Marathon, and finishes. She really doesn't look much worse for the wear, and is certainly sweating less than Dr. H. Put that into your "whatever science we have" machine and compute!

Tracey's partner from season eight, Coach Mo, has decided to partner with the American Diabetes Association to fight against the disease. He got rid of his diabetes after being on the show, and says that as long as he helps one person, his life hasn't been in vain. Coach Mo's total current weight loss is 105 pounds, and he too participates in a 5K with Dr. H.

Jillian tells us that the holiday season is upon us, and so for the first time she wanted to invite all the Biggest Loser winners to join her for a healthy Thanksgiving meal. We see season nine winner Michael, whose current total weight loss is 237 pounds. He's still a bigger guy, but clearly a lot lighter than he used to be. He gives Jillian a big hug, and the other winners start coming in. Season eight winner Danny Cahill still looks great, as does season seven winner Helen. Season five winner Ali of course is continuously fly, as noted earlier. Season four winner Bill has maybe been hitting the Fritos again a little. Season three winner Erik put on a bunch of the weight, as we learned last season, but seems to be slimming down again. Season two winner Matt also has had documented struggles with keeping weight off, and is currently in possession of two and a half chins. But the real piece de resistance is season one winner Ryan. His current total weight loss is 10 pounds. Yes, you heard me right. He's put just about all of the weight back on. Is nobody going to remark on the fact that the winners of seasons one through three have all plumped back up? This seems like a problematic trend.

Jillian hugs Ryan, then calls him a jerk. She thanks everyone, and says she appreciates their coming to fake and healthy Thanksgiving. Curtis Stone is on hand to talk about healthy holiday cooking. Curtis goes over various parts of the meal with various contestants. First on the menu is herb crusted grilled turkey breast. Mirepoix is involved. Ryan tells us that, with three kids, it's easy to just grab some food and bring it home. However, Curtis makes healthy cooking seem easy. Curtis rubs the turkey breast with Dijon mustard, then rolls it around in parsley. Okay, that looks disgusting. I am biased, because I hate mustard. Next up is leek and celery stuffing. I'm sorry, but that will not do. For dessert there's pecan-crusted apple crisp which, given my tree nut allergy, would kill me. I hate this Thanksgiving meal that first makes me gag and then brings me death.

Jillian and the winners are seated at their Thanksgiving table when Curtis serves them. Ever-enthusiastic Danny tells us that the food was so good, you could taste it with your eyes. That's one weight-loss strategy. Jillian notes that it's the first time they've had all the Biggest Loser winners at the table. Well, minus Michelle. What's up with her, I wonder? Michael notes that all of the other winners served as a source of inspiration for him, and now he can give thanks to them. Bill says that he's a wellness ambassador now, and is doing fantastic. Helen held her first 5K health walk in Michigan, celebrating her 50th birthday. She's also had some excellent face work done, of which I fully approve. Michael says that his main focus is childhood obesity. He went wrong in his childhood, and

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