The Blacklist
The Alchemist

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 49 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Don't Take Him Just Because You Can

BOLTHOLE

Catherine: "Hey, are you Trettel?"
Alchemist: "That's me. What the fuck are you doing here?"
Catherine: "My husband was taken into custody in Budapest, so I feel like I need a refund. Your job did not do the job."
Alchemist: "Then you must have told somebody."
Catherine: "Is this crazy scary mad-scientist lab where you do your work?"
Alchemist: "Shut up, stand directly on that tarp in the middle of the room, and tell me everybody who could have blown your spot."
Catherine: "I guess our lawyer? [Nope! It was Red! Nobody would ever suspect!] If you want I can call him right now and..."

Needless to say, the Alchemist drops her ass where she stands, then empties a couple more into her just for fucking up his day. What I like about the Alchemist is, he has no sense of scale. He has that kind of excellence/hubris where he's like, "And now I gotta fucking break into the FBI and kill a guy under their noses? Thanks for nothing, you dumb dead lady I already killed."

FBI

Ressler: "You were already under an immunity agreement as a CI, so you're screwed unless you tell me all about this Alchemist."
Pytor: "Who? I just want a cigarette."
Ressler: "I have cigarettes but you can't have a cigarette. Deal with that."
Pytor: "Okay but seriously, it was all done through couriers, much like in the episode about the Courier, or when Red got kidnapped. We never saw him, just went down the checklist of all our medical information and samples and stuff."
Ressler: "Give us a money trail, then, and we can..."

Knock-knock. Guess who?

Ressler: "Who are you?"
The Alchemist: "I am a lawyer!"
Pytor: "I don't know you but can I have some of that nicotine gum?"
The Alchemist: "Sure! PS, it is poison."

Then he dies just like his wife, with very little fanfare. I kind of love the Alchemist.

Meanwhile, Ressler is just dicking around like he does, chatting with Liz about things they have both already discussed -- like Sarah Jenkins's online dating profile -- and then Liz shows him a picture of her last online date, and it is... The lawyer from a second ago! Ressler springs into action, but it's too late: One more dead body, no lawyer, and now the happy couple are both dead two times over, and we're left holding the bag.

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The Blacklist

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