The Blacklist
The Stewmaker

Episode Report Card
Mr. Sobell: C- | 95 USERS: A-
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Breaking Baldy

Ressler interrupts this scene of domestic bliss with a phone call that the FBI has found the location where the witness was taken -- that same motel from the first scene. Now if only they could find a trace of the witness. The only hair that was found belonged to dog, and all those tarps Creepy McBaldguy hung up kept out any traces of DNA and whatnot. Just then, Reddington calls and says he’s been thinking about the case and would like to know if the FBI found anything along the lines of tape residue on the walls. They did. Reddington tells Keen to look in the tub and run her fingers around the drain. Uh, is this some sort of Truth or Dare thing? No, it’s just to confirm the unmistakable presence of chemicals. "The Stewmaker is in town," a suddenly interested Reddington says. And then he helpfully suggests she call a plumber if she’s interested in finding the last little pieces of her witness because… ew.

So let’s meet The Stewmaker. Reddington explains to the assembled FBI agents that The Stewmaker -- Stewie, to his friends -- specializes in getting rid of bodies by dissolving them in a chemical stew, leaving none of that pesky DNA around. What particularly burns Reddington’s toast is that The Stewmaker collects trophies from his victims. In case you’ve had a hard time grasping any of this, the producers thoughtfully show The Stewmaker turning that disappeared witness into chemical goop. Hope you weren’t snacking while watching TV!

It’s decided, then: the FBI will lean on El Sideburns Malo to help them capture The Stewmaker, offering a cushy plea agreement if he cooperates and a one-way ticket to Gitmo if he does not. El Sideburns Malo does not care for that deal, perhaps because he opposes extralegal interrogation on principle or more likely because he holds a grudge against Keen for arresting him. ("You think you know me? With your profiles?" he says with a sneer at one point, and there’s no reading of that line you can do that’s more awkward than the one El Sideburns Malo gave).

Whatever the reason, he’ll take his chances with being thrown into the tender of care of the Department of Homeland Security, thanks. And so it’s time for the worst prisoner transfer since Lee Harvey Oswlad stepped out for a breath of fresh air. Keen is ushering El Sideburns Malo to a waiting helicopter when all of sudden, the chopper explodes and a van full of gun-toting henchman descend upon the scene. Before you can wonder just who was responsible for securing a perimeter in this chickenshit outfit, the henchmen have liberated El Sideburns Malo and grabbed Keen as part of the bargain, driving off while the chopper burns in a plum of CGI smoke.

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The Blacklist

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